1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,000
He dealt with fatphobia by
developing an eating disorder,

2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,430
an obsession with exercise,

3
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:06,540
which is a unfortunately,

4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,930
a very normal response
to experiencing fatphobia

5
00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:11,223
day in and day out.

6
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:14,010
He went on to marry my grandmother,

7
00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:16,980
who was sort of the
biggest girl in her family.

8
00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:19,350
And I remember with her, you know,

9
00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:24,350
I grew up learning like
casual disordered eating,

10
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,685
casual like for example, she always said,

11
00:00:28,685 --> 00:00:30,660
first of all, she wore a
girdle every day of her life.

12
00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:31,530
The minute she woke up,

13
00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:33,630
that was the first thing she would put on,

14
00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:35,700
and the last thing she
would take off at night.

15
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,040
And I remember as a kid,
she would tell me, you know,

16
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,450
don't forget to buy clothes,

17
00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:42,540
it's a little bit too
small so that, you know,

18
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:44,610
it's a reminder that as you eat

19
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:47,940
and your belly expands to stop eating.

20
00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:49,290
So, I mean, this is like,

21
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:51,870
this is a disordered eating method.

22
00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:54,360
Maybe y'all have like
experienced something like this,

23
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,430
like the idea that you
wear restrictive garments,

24
00:00:56,430 --> 00:01:00,060
or you do certain behaviors
to sort of create these rules

25
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,760
around, like, how much you
can eat and whatnot, right?

26
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,360
So I'm being raised by two
people who have a, you know,

27
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,580
a lot of fatphobia and disordered eating

28
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:09,840
and body dysmorphia.

29
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:14,130
My mother is the person who
kind of, you know, really,

30
00:01:14,130 --> 00:01:16,680
I mean, I think all of them
were my champions, right?

31
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,200
They always told me how
great I was, how smart I was,

32
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,340
how beautiful, and special,

33
00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:21,660
and all of these things that I was.

34
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:25,020
So I didn't really learn
to hate my body from them,

35
00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:26,430
but they all hated their body.

36
00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:29,280
So my mother at the point where I'm,

37
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,870
let's move forward in
my story a little bit.

38
00:01:30,870 --> 00:01:33,780
I'm five years old, I'm
introduced to fatphobia.

39
00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:36,810
I'm in like preschool, kindergarten,

40
00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:39,600
and there's a boy in
my class named Joshua,

41
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,630
and he's the first person
who ever calls me fat.

42
00:01:42,630 --> 00:01:44,460
And I don't really know this word,

43
00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:46,230
but I know that from
the way he's saying it,

44
00:01:46,230 --> 00:01:47,430
that it's really bad.

45
00:01:47,430 --> 00:01:51,600
And Joshua is the kid who
looks up all the girls' skirts.

46
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,020
And I sort of like, I
remember thinking even then,

47
00:01:55,020 --> 00:01:56,640
I felt like a connection.

48
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,250
I was like, there's
something about, you know,

49
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,570
he never looked up my skirt.

50
00:02:00,570 --> 00:02:01,980
He never wanted to look up my skirt.

51
00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:04,500
And there was like this
misunderstanding of like,

52
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:08,430
there's some connection between
the boy who's calling me fat

53
00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:09,930
and the fact that he is also the boy

54
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,730
who's looking up all the skirts.

55
00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:13,110
And I just even sense,

56
00:02:13,110 --> 00:02:15,840
I didn't have the language,
I wasn't a feminist yet,

57
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,200
but I would go on later
life to understand, right?

58
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,240
This was the beginnings of like,

59
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,370
I was learning the
connections between fatphobia

60
00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:27,600
and rape culture from that
very, like, first moment that,

61
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,450
so there was sexism, there was
gender, there was like size,

62
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,980
there were all kinds of
things that were embedded

63
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:34,560
in that moment with Joshua.

64
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,540
So from that day forward,

65
00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:39,600
I proceed to get really
emotionally pummeled

66
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,000
day in and day out for being a fat person.

67
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,230
And if you grew up a fat kid,

68
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,520
you probably know what I'm talking about,

69
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,890
like literally every single day.

70
00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:50,130
Like if a day passed that someone

71
00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:51,720
wasn't verbally abusive to me,

72
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,930
I would sit down when I
got home, I would run home,

73
00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:57,990
be so excited, I would
write down everything I did,

74
00:02:57,990 --> 00:02:59,190
everything I wore,

75
00:02:59,190 --> 00:03:01,920
and try to emulate the next day,

76
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:06,150
every single thing with the
hopes that I could control

77
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:07,890
what was happening to me.

78
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:10,620
So, you know, it progressed, right?

79
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:13,530
It started from like this
deepest sense of insecurity

80
00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:16,800
and sort of criticism of myself.

81
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:21,420
And then it moved into very
quickly restricting food

82
00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:22,680
because that was what I was told.

83
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,390
I was told, you're too big

84
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:26,790
because you have the wrong
relationship to food.

85
00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,220
So I internalized that, right?

86
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,110
If you stop eating, or you eat less,

87
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:34,530
or you eat the right amount,
then people won't abuse you.

88
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:36,784
That was how I understood it.

89
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:37,617
So I was like, okay,

90
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,690
I'm willing to like basically eat nothing,

91
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:41,280
so that this abuse will stop.

92
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,930
And yet, because like again,

93
00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:45,180
going back to the genetics, you know,

94
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:47,400
my body was always going to be this size.

95
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,050
No matter how little I ate,

96
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:51,180
no matter how many hours I exercise,

97
00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:54,780
it never quite was enough for my peers.

98
00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:57,750
So I'm now, let's sort of
move forward in the story,

99
00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:59,580
maybe like 10 years old.

100
00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:02,460
And I've already experienced
starvation for the first time.

101
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:04,860
I've already undergone
starvation in between fourth

102
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,840
and rather fifth and sixth grades,

103
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,600
the summer in between
I wanted to transform.

104
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:14,160
And so I started to eat
basically, like, only lettuce,

105
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,690
and I would like dip it in a sauce,

106
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:16,560
like a ketchup or whatever,

107
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,970
which sounds, you know, quite terrible.

108
00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:19,800
But like at the time was like,

109
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,620
oh, it's kind of like zhuzhing
up the lettuce a little bit.

110
00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:24,570
So I was literally living off of lettuce

111
00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:28,180
and exercising two hours,
sometimes three hours a day

112
00:04:29,190 --> 00:04:31,920
over, you know, a three month period.

113
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,440
And I'm really thinking
this time I got it,

114
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,560
I'm like, I can't eat
pretty much any less.

115
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,950
I can't exercise really any more than this

116
00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:42,930
as like a 10 year old or whatever.

117
00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:46,020
And I go back in to see my doctor,

118
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,450
my family doctor before
I go start sixth grade.

119
00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:51,120
And he's like, whatever you're
doing, just keep doing it.

120
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,620
You look great.

121
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:53,670
I mean, if you keep going,

122
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,770
you might be able to date one of my sons.

123
00:04:55,770 --> 00:04:58,050
And again, kind of there's like that,

124
00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:00,510
kind of reminder, this is about gender,

125
00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:02,190
this is about desire,

126
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,500
and it's about male desire
and this kind of idea

127
00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,240
that like, you know,

128
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,730
that abuse is taught that somehow,

129
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:13,350
like if I become thin,
then males will desire me

130
00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:15,720
and they will not abuse me.

131
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,310
And that was kind of like, again,

132
00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:19,710
I'm not really articulating
this, but it's like,

133
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,080
it's in my subconscious.

134
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,630
So at this point I'm like, I can't go any,

135
00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:26,670
like, how much less can I eat?

136
00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:29,640
How many more hours can I exercise?

137
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,530
And I started to get really desperate.

138
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,300
And I remember at that point I was really,

139
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,600
there was a day where I was
crying in the car with my mother

140
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:37,740
and I was like, you just don't understand.

141
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:39,030
She was like, you're
beautiful, you're great.

142
00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:41,254
Like, you know, once this is over,

143
00:05:41,254 --> 00:05:42,087
you're gonna go to college,

144
00:05:42,087 --> 00:05:43,440
you're gonna have everything you want.

145
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,670
You're gonna find love.

146
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:45,990
She was such a, like,

147
00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:48,300
she was such a source of inspiration,

148
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,830
but I was like, you don't get it.

149
00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:53,310
My life right now is trash.
Like I need this to stop.

150
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:56,580
And I remember there was
like a turn in that moment,

151
00:05:56,580 --> 00:06:00,420
and that was like the day that
I kind of realized, again,

152
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:01,800
don't really have the language for it.

153
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,670
That's the day I learned that

154
00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:06,420
my mom also had an eating
disorder, that she had bulimia.

155
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:07,950
So we were sitting in the car,

156
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:11,977
she kind of drove me to the
grocery store and she said,

157
00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:14,220
"The key to becoming thin

158
00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:17,820
is learning to hate the
food that you love."

159
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:21,390
So you make a list and
you start with number one,

160
00:06:21,390 --> 00:06:23,100
your favorite thing,

161
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,350
and you eat it until you're sick

162
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,300
and you'll never want it again.

163
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,640
And then you move on to number two.

164
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:30,840
And you know, I mean,

165
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:33,060
anybody who like grew up
with a disordered eating,

166
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,487
or has hadn't eaten, like that's just,

167
00:06:35,487 --> 00:06:37,320
I mean, it just gives me
chills just thinking about,

168
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,870
this is the advice that my mother

169
00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:44,160
who in her desperation to
get me out of the suffering,

170
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,880
is extending a hand into
teaching me what she had to do

171
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,590
because she went through what I did

172
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:52,380
and my grandparents
went through what I did.

173
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:53,940
So, right?

174
00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:57,360
And like, and the thing
that's really nuts is like,

175
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,210
okay, so I'm aging, I'm aging, right?

176
00:07:00,361 --> 00:07:01,830
I, I don't end up developing bulimia.

177
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:04,680
I've got this like,
horrible fear of barfing.

178
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,590
So thankfully like, that didn't stick,

179
00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:10,890
but I was still very
anorexic and orthorexic.

180
00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:14,760
So really, like, thinking
food that had calories

181
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,233
and it was contaminated,

182
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:18,960
wanting to exercise all of the time,

183
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,310
feeling like I can't eat.

184
00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:22,380
I wasn't purging, but I would eat

185
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:25,080
and then I would exercise obsessively.

186
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,603
So that was my life for like 20 years.

187
00:07:28,673 --> 00:07:29,940
And then I kind of go to college.

188
00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:30,960
It's a little bit different.

189
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,160
It's not like day in, day out
people abusing me to my face.

190
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,830
It starts to look like, you know,

191
00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:39,450
who wants to be your friend? Who doesn't?

192
00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:40,920
who wants to date you? Who doesn't?

193
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,810
Your thin friends are
having this experience

194
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,410
and I'm having this different
experience in college.

195
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:49,140
And so by total happenstance
in my mid twenties,

196
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:52,320
this is now after
college, I'm like 24, 25,

197
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,460
I end up meeting a fat positive partner.

198
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:58,410
It's kind of this totally wild thing.

199
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,870
I had a like a radio
show for a little while

200
00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:03,960
and this person sent me
an email and he was like,

201
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,510
you seem really cool.
Can we chat or something?

202
00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:08,280
I've listened to your
show and you seem smart

203
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,750
and I like to talk to you.

204
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:13,590
And then it this turns into
like, a six year relationship

205
00:08:13,590 --> 00:08:15,390
and really like, you know,

206
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:17,760
it was incredible cause
he was the first person

207
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:22,760
I'd ever dated who really said to me,

208
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:26,040
no one gets to tell you
what your body looks like.

209
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,320
No man, no woman, no one, right?

210
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,850
Like nobody you're dating,

211
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:32,820
nobody else gets to tell you
what your body looks like.

212
00:08:32,820 --> 00:08:35,700
It's yours. And it was just like, I mean,

213
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:39,210
this had never occurred
to me at 24, 25 years old.

214
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:42,660
And he really helped, like not only,

215
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:44,430
I think that until I met him,

216
00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:48,990
I really thought no one
will ever fully love me.

217
00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:50,370
I will have to trick them.

218
00:08:50,370 --> 00:08:54,330
I will have to be very smart,
very funny, very talented,

219
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:57,300
know a lot of cultural references.

220
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,730
I have to be the most sexually talented

221
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:01,710
and then I will trick
someone into loving me.

222
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:03,630
They will never love me for my body.

223
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,160
They will love me in spite of it.

224
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,900
And he really showed me that,

225
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,970
I didn't have to settle for that,

226
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,530
which was really life altering.

227
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:13,470
He also coincidentally this
like an angelic human being,

228
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,910
I don't even know,

229
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:16,920
he also helped me work through

230
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,480
a lot of my disordered eating.

231
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,160
Like he would sit with me in the kitchen

232
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:24,240
while we'd prepare food
and he would hold my hand

233
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,070
while he was like, okay,
we're gonna have pasta, right?

234
00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:29,130
And to someone who was like
really deep in disordered eating

235
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,450
and disordered thinking about food,

236
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:31,770
pasta is like saying like,

237
00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:34,170
we're gonna throw a baby in
here, it's gonna be alive.

238
00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:36,540
And so it's like, right, it's terrifying.

239
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:39,930
And so I'm like, okay,
pasta a panic attack, right?

240
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,270
So he is like, it's okay, pasta's not bad,

241
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:44,340
we can just put it in the
little pot, it's great.

242
00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:46,380
And then he is like, oh, I had an idea.

243
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,700
What if we put cheese in there?

244
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,230
I'm like, and cheese is like even worse.

245
00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:51,098
It's like, just like little,

246
00:09:51,098 --> 00:09:52,860
like let's just like kill
a village full of people

247
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:53,693
-for no reason.
-(audience laughing)

248
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,813
I just like, I'm, you know, again,

249
00:09:54,813 --> 00:09:57,180
like in this deep disorder thinking

250
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,520
and I'm just like, cheese,
I'm like freaking out.

251
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,280
And he's like, it's okay, you
know, we're gonna do this.

252
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,660
We're gonna put it in the pot,
it's gonna be great, right?

253
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:07,020
So we have like this
mac and cheese moment,

254
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,270
it's just like etched
in my memory is, like,

255
00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:12,420
this time when, you know, my partner who,

256
00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:13,890
and I think really like,

257
00:10:13,890 --> 00:10:15,150
he really taught me that

258
00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:17,340
if your partner isn't your community,

259
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:18,480
then they're not,

260
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,700
like they shouldn't be your boo.

261
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,647
If they're not here to
like help you and gas you,

262
00:10:22,647 --> 00:10:24,960
and like help you heal in ways that are,

263
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,790
I mean obviously not
like trying to save you,

264
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:28,830
or anything like that, but
like trying to support you.

265
00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:32,280
Can give you those, like,
those same pep talks,

266
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,980
those same things that your
friends would give you,

267
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:36,390
then you probably
shouldn't be dating them.

268
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:38,430
And it was just like,
he really leveled me up

269
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,790
in a lot of really incredible
ways through his, like,

270
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:43,020
the way that he thought.

271
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:44,130
And I remember at that,

272
00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:47,400
so progressing when I'm
now almost 30 years old,

273
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,160
I'm still diet, I still
have like these residual,

274
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,240
like something's wrong with me.

275
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,730
I should probably be
on a diet all the time.

276
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:55,260
I probably needed
something, I'm gonna die.

277
00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:56,093
All this stuff, right?

278
00:10:56,093 --> 00:10:56,926
Like I believed everything that

279
00:10:56,926 --> 00:10:58,713
I had been taught about being fat.

280
00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:01,710
And then I end up in grad school

281
00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:04,170
and I start being really
interested in studying

282
00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:07,533
how weight discrimination impacts gender.

283
00:11:09,487 --> 00:11:11,040
And so that's a whole nother story.

284
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,760
But through that I end up
discovering fat activism,

285
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,760
which is like this group
of incredible human beings.

286
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,960
At that time in the Bay Area,

287
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,980
though fat activism was
all over the world and I,

288
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:25,860
for the first time in my life
was in a community of people.

289
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:27,870
Like, the story goes like this.

290
00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:30,720
Like somebody was like, have
you heard of this conference?

291
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,100
It's a fat conference.

292
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:34,020
It's like, in two weeks
you should probably go,

293
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:35,560
'cause you're doing
research related to that.

294
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:38,220
I was like, yeah, okay, I'm gonna go.

295
00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:41,010
So I sign up to go to the
conference, I get there,

296
00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:42,660
I take like the commuter train, the bus,

297
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,070
or like 14 transfers,

298
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,440
finally at the hotel
where the conference is.

299
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,830
And I'm like walking through the breezeway

300
00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:51,270
of the conference center

301
00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:54,390
and I'm just hearing
laughter and splashing.

302
00:11:54,390 --> 00:11:55,800
And then I like walk out

303
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,620
and there's just like
this incredible scene

304
00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:02,580
of like fat people
everywhere at a swimming pool

305
00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:06,750
wearing amazing bathing suits,
like, really incredible.

306
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,580
And they're just laughing
and they're having fun

307
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,170
and they're like wearing cute sunglasses

308
00:12:10,170 --> 00:12:14,280
and they're floating on stuff
and they're just like, living.

309
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,590
And I'd never seen
anything like this before.

310
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:20,910
And then there's one person
comes out from this side

311
00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:22,410
of the sort of tableau

312
00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:26,520
and she's wearing this
like red white polka dot

313
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,100
vintage style bikini
with cat eye sunglasses,

314
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:31,290
and she has this big belly, right?

315
00:12:31,290 --> 00:12:32,940
And like big arms and big thighs

316
00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:34,410
and she's just sauntering out,

317
00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:38,850
and there's like this boy
following her with a parasol

318
00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:39,873
over her head.

319
00:12:39,873 --> 00:12:40,770
(audience laughing)

320
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:44,010
And I was like, oh, like,
I was like, oh my god,

321
00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:46,507
this is possible. I
like, I didn't know that.

322
00:12:46,507 --> 00:12:49,047
I think I didn't quite know
that was what I wanted.

323
00:12:49,047 --> 00:12:51,270
And I don't think I definitely didn't know

324
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,793
that I could have it as a fat person.

325
00:12:54,826 --> 00:12:56,400
And it was like that
moment where it was like,

326
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,020
she was kind of like my saint,

327
00:12:58,020 --> 00:12:59,760
like if people talk about
religious experiences,

328
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,110
like fall to their knees,

329
00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:04,890
like whatever I give my life over to this.

330
00:13:04,890 --> 00:13:06,450
She was a little bit like,

331
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:11,160
she was like my religious
ecstatic saint person for me.

332
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,010
And, you know, basically from then on

333
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,500
I just dedicated my
life to doing this work,

334
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,660
to trying to end weight discrimination,

335
00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:21,030
to helping people understand,

336
00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:23,160
not only the data that the basic rate

337
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,400
that our culture is
not only wrong morally,

338
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,840
for how it thinks about fat people,

339
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,830
but it's just wrong, literally also.

340
00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:32,820
It was really powerful,

341
00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:34,290
cause when I first started I was like,

342
00:13:34,290 --> 00:13:36,720
I don't care about the health
argument. I do not care.

343
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,900
I care about human beings.
I know what I went through.

344
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:43,170
I know I've met like 50,
a hundred fat people,

345
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,000
they've all gone through the same thing.

346
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,070
So this is clearly a human rights problem.

347
00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:49,086
And I wasn't even
interested in the research.

348
00:13:49,086 --> 00:13:50,610
I was like, I don't care
what the research says,

349
00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:52,380
we've got a human rights
argument right here.

350
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:55,440
People shouldn't be
treated like that. Period.

351
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,980
And, but then, right as
the longer I started this,

352
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:01,770
I've been in this career,
the more I was like,

353
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:02,970
I gotta look at the research,

354
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:04,290
let's see what it says.

355
00:14:04,290 --> 00:14:05,910
And I was like, what,

356
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:08,160
not only is this thing horrible and,

357
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,680
not only is fatphobia like
horrible and disgusting

358
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,570
and anti humanitarian and terrible,

359
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:14,520
and we should all be ashamed of, like,

360
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,250
the fact that it's just running
rampant through the streets,

361
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,800
but it doesn't even have
a basis in research.

362
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,320
Like there's not even any research

363
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,660
that shows that this works, that weight.

364
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:27,210
Like not only does weight loss not work,

365
00:14:27,210 --> 00:14:30,300
but it actually makes, like
it moves people's set point,

366
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,650
which we'll talk about in a second,

367
00:14:31,650 --> 00:14:34,080
higher over time that it actually in fact

368
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,040
makes people bigger.

369
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,980
Which I'm like, I'm here
for people being bigger,

370
00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:40,290
but that's allegedly
not the point of this.

371
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:42,390
So it was really shocking
to understand that.

372
00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:43,350
I was like, wow.

373
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,810
So if fatphobia isn't just
like hot flaming trash,

374
00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:48,660
like on a cultural, like
kind of just human level,

375
00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,820
but it's like not even
supported by research

376
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:53,400
and it was just like one of
those moments where you're like,

377
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,353
what are we doing here, you know?

378
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:59,520
So that kind of, that's
a long story. (laughs)

379
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,900
Thank you for listening.

380
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,540
We'll move on to the next slide, (laughs)

381
00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:06,930
like slide three, minute 45.

382
00:15:06,930 --> 00:15:08,520
Okay, so does it,

383
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,890
are you seeing the slide
that says critically examine

384
00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:12,120
the health? Okay, great. (laughs)

385
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,980
So that's what we're
heading into right now.

386
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,453
Let's just move on ahead.

387
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:21,690
So right, kind of, I just wanna
jump right into it, right?

388
00:15:21,690 --> 00:15:24,030
The current prevailing question,

389
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:26,490
but isn't being fat just unhealthy, right?

390
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:29,460
This is kind of like, this
is the question I always get.

391
00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:32,550
This is the question I always
have to address, right?

392
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:35,970
When I'm talking about this conversation.

393
00:15:35,970 --> 00:15:39,030
And the problem with the question is that

394
00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:43,410
the onus of the question, the
onus really of like, you know,

395
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,850
this overall like, yeah,

396
00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:48,210
this question falls on the oppressed group

397
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:52,830
to change in order to accommodate bias.

398
00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:55,157
So it's the same, I
mean, if you can kind of,

399
00:15:55,157 --> 00:15:58,080
if you think more
broadly about oppression,

400
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,090
asking this question is like saying,

401
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:02,940
well, in general, and
this is an actual fact.

402
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:05,730
Black Americans live shorter
lives than white Americans.

403
00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:08,910
So shouldn't Black Americans
just try to be white people?

404
00:16:08,910 --> 00:16:11,220
Wouldn't that just solve this?

405
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,070
I think it's just a gross misunderstanding

406
00:16:14,070 --> 00:16:16,080
of how oppression works

407
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,860
and it ends up becoming a
method of victim blaming.

408
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,570
So the outcomes of this,

409
00:16:21,570 --> 00:16:25,290
I just said victim blaming
stress on the oppressed group

410
00:16:25,290 --> 00:16:27,420
bypassing of consent, right?

411
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,820
I think right now there's this idea that,

412
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:32,490
like there's something wrong
with me and no matter what,

413
00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:35,730
whether I like my body or
not, whether I'm fine or not,

414
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:38,670
whether I'm like whatever the
doctor's idea of healthy is,

415
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:41,430
or not, I should still
want to be a thin person

416
00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:45,030
and that thin people
get to bypass my consent

417
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:48,370
because they are just somehow
more knowledgeable than me

418
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,600
just by virtue of being thin.

419
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,600
This is what I mean by
bypassing of consent.

420
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:55,860
It leads to medical bias,

421
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:57,300
which we'll talk more about in a second.

422
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,550
Less preventive care for
higher weight people,

423
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,490
which there's research on
this. We'll go into that.

424
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:04,710
A wage gap between higher weight people

425
00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:06,810
and straight size people in general.

426
00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:08,850
I know the research for plus size women.

427
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:12,870
Now mind you, 70% of people
in the US are plus size.

428
00:17:12,870 --> 00:17:14,940
So this is unlike other
forms of oppression

429
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:17,190
where they're actually
usually numeric minorities.

430
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:20,130
We're talking about a numeric majority

431
00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:23,670
that is being oppressed in
line with numeric minorities,

432
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:26,640
which is interesting kind of paradoxical.

433
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,150
For plus size women, the
wage gap between, you know,

434
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,143
us and straight size
women is anywhere between

435
00:17:32,143 --> 00:17:34,710
9,000 and $19,000 a year.

436
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:37,020
And I'll talk more about that in a minute.

437
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:39,990
The invisible invisibilization
of discrimination

438
00:17:39,990 --> 00:17:41,100
when there's victim blaming,

439
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,360
that means that it makes it harder

440
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,310
to see the discrimination is happening.

441
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:48,210
Doctors prescribing food
restriction, aka dieting,

442
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,950
which is correlated with eating disorders.

443
00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:52,890
One in four people who are regular dieters

444
00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:55,140
will go on to have an eating disorder,

445
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,330
which is one of the
deadliest mental illnesses

446
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:59,823
that we have, that like on record.

447
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:03,970
And so anyway, doctors
prescribing food restriction

448
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:08,340
to higher weight patients
pretty much consistently,

449
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:10,020
I would argue the better question,

450
00:18:10,020 --> 00:18:11,640
the more humanitarian question,

451
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,520
the question that I think is
more substantiated by research

452
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,950
and that it's just better for humans

453
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:20,520
is what's the right thing
to do if we accept it,

454
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,980
that weight bias harms people,

455
00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,930
that it shortens life expectancy,

456
00:18:24,930 --> 00:18:26,430
which I will get into in a second

457
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:29,220
and is therefore oppressing
human rights issue.

458
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:30,810
So what's the moral imperative?

459
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,190
If we look at the research,

460
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:35,220
if we look at what weight stigma does,

461
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:37,680
what is the moral imperative here?

462
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,630
Not is this person healthy or not,

463
00:18:39,630 --> 00:18:42,990
but knowing that stigma
harms and kills people

464
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,000
and shortens their life expectancy,

465
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,563
what is the right thing to do?

466
00:18:48,204 --> 00:18:51,120
In this situation, I
would say it's superior

467
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,660
in that the onus falls
on society, on all of us,

468
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:57,030
not the individual
experiencing the oppression.

469
00:18:57,030 --> 00:19:00,060
It falls on medicine to come correct

470
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:02,250
and people who want to oppress fat people.

471
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:04,050
And I wanna say here
I'm calling out medicine

472
00:19:04,050 --> 00:19:05,880
and I mentioned that there
was a training earlier,

473
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,320
and I really, I don't think I have a slide

474
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,730
that says in this deck,

475
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:12,570
but it's important to understand
that discrimination, right?

476
00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:15,000
Like so, let me back up and
say right now in New York City,

477
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,280
there's a bill that's up for vote,

478
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:21,510
that would add weight to
as a protected category

479
00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:22,560
at such as, you know,

480
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,950
added to like race, gender,
disability, et cetera.

481
00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:27,900
So it's important to
understand that, right?

482
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:28,983
Like this is,

483
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,300
this work is part of a trajectory of like,

484
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:36,090
trying to end groups being
discriminated against.

485
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:38,760
And with that in mind, it's
important to understand that

486
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,460
just like weight discrimination,

487
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,220
there was a time when racism was justified

488
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:45,990
through the language of science.

489
00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:48,900
There was a time when sexism was justified

490
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,820
through the language of science.

491
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:54,000
There was a time when,
like racist science said,

492
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,120
that the human skull could be measured

493
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,880
and that criminality could be determined

494
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,680
by that measurement.

495
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,290
These were not cuckoo,
weirdo, right people,

496
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,220
they weren't like, right?

497
00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:08,340
These were like medical doctors. (laughs)

498
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:10,740
And so it's important to understand that

499
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:14,430
it's not like weight
discrimination is sort of

500
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:17,820
medically substantiated
or validated by medicine,

501
00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:21,000
and we've never seen this show before.

502
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,530
It's that this is very much in line

503
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:27,000
with the ways in which oppressed groups

504
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,680
have been oppressed, right?

505
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:32,370
Society isn't just like the
president and people on top,

506
00:20:32,370 --> 00:20:36,510
society's made up of academia, the church,

507
00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:37,920
the medical field, right?

508
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,470
Like there are sort of pillars of society

509
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:42,420
when we're talking about society, okay?

510
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,790
So the outcomes of this,

511
00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:47,190
I would argue are individuals and entities

512
00:20:47,190 --> 00:20:50,790
who practice discrimination
will be asked to stop.

513
00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:53,190
Health outcomes always improve

514
00:20:53,190 --> 00:20:56,550
when individuals experience
less stigma in addition to that.

515
00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:57,633
So let's move on.

516
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:04,590
Okay, so I kind of also,
this is another side by side.

517
00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:07,890
So the current health
focus approach, you know,

518
00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:10,500
basically teaches us that to be suspicious

519
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:13,470
of embodied feelings and
we're encouraged to adopt

520
00:21:13,470 --> 00:21:17,010
an intellectual aka enlightened
anti-human relationship

521
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,180
to food and body.

522
00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:22,080
So the current health
approach really does promote

523
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,500
a very intellectual relationship

524
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,780
to how you eat and what
your body looks like,

525
00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:30,183
and what your body feels
like even potentially.

526
00:21:31,180 --> 00:21:34,290
This system is characterized by binaries.

527
00:21:34,290 --> 00:21:38,610
So good versus junk food,
wrong versus right bodies,

528
00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:42,150
good versus bad bodies,
learners versus knowers.

529
00:21:42,150 --> 00:21:46,050
I was just doing a lecture
yesterday with Food Core

530
00:21:46,050 --> 00:21:51,050
and basically talking about
how in our culture we learn,

531
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:53,580
you know, basically there's
two types of people,

532
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:56,160
the people who know how to eat correctly

533
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,750
and the people who don't.

534
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,670
And often people who are in the don't,

535
00:21:59,670 --> 00:22:01,890
are people who are in marginalized bodies

536
00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:05,430
and people who do know are the
correct eaters or whatever,

537
00:22:05,430 --> 00:22:08,103
they're often in like
more privileged bodies.

538
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,130
This system is
characterized by restriction

539
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:13,230
and control assimilation.

540
00:22:13,230 --> 00:22:16,020
So food becomes a way of
becoming a good citizen,

541
00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:17,640
a moral citizen.

542
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,860
Utility food is primarily
seen as something

543
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,480
that should promote health.

544
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,540
Food is seen as fuel
for a machine, the body.

545
00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:27,930
Fear that the wrong
relationship to food and body

546
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:29,610
could lead to disease and death.

547
00:22:29,610 --> 00:22:30,840
So right now, you know,

548
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,480
if you look over here on
the left hand of the slide,

549
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,460
this is the paradigm that we're living in.

550
00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:38,220
It's extremely anxiety-inducing,

551
00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:40,860
it leads to body dysmorphia,
leads to disordered eating,

552
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,500
it leads to all kinds of
like fractured relationships

553
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,380
to the self, to intuition and to food.

554
00:22:46,380 --> 00:22:48,120
We can, in my mind, right?

555
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,250
We can create both in microcosms

556
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:54,240
and also just in larger environment.

557
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,490
We can live in a culture that affirms

558
00:22:56,490 --> 00:22:59,070
a pro-human relationship to food and body

559
00:22:59,070 --> 00:23:00,750
rooted in instinct.

560
00:23:00,750 --> 00:23:02,640
Hunger is one of those things.

561
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,930
Hunger is part of instinct,
intuition, pleasure, connection,

562
00:23:06,930 --> 00:23:10,890
care, cultural affirmation, play, fun,

563
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,900
comfort and self-trust.

564
00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:14,400
And I kind of wanna say like, you know,

565
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,340
and what's interesting is that

566
00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:19,140
the stuff on the right hand side,

567
00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:21,780
which might sound a little
bit woo or whatever,

568
00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:23,880
is also substantiated by data,

569
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,970
to have better long-term health outcomes.

570
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:30,120
A great example is this
research that came out,

571
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,260
this actually from the seventies,

572
00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:34,230
but they discovered that
when people enjoy food,

573
00:23:34,230 --> 00:23:36,930
they absorbed more
nutrition from the food.

574
00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:41,160
So pleasure has an impact on
actual nutrient absorption.

575
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,190
So these things aren't just
like concepts that seem nice,

576
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:46,860
they have empirical bases and like,

577
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:49,440
actually help promoting outcomes.

578
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,553
So let's move on.

579
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:52,913
So as a culture,

580
00:23:52,913 --> 00:23:55,230
we've been taught to see bodies and food

581
00:23:55,230 --> 00:23:58,080
through a carceral, colonial
and neoliberal lens.

582
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,640
And we're gonna like break that down.

583
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,200
So Carceral, you've probably heard,

584
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,610
I feel like there's a lot of attention

585
00:24:02,610 --> 00:24:04,290
on carceral right now.

586
00:24:04,290 --> 00:24:06,390
The belief that our bodies are dangerous

587
00:24:06,390 --> 00:24:09,300
and always on the verge of rebellion.

588
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:12,990
Rebellion equals fatness
and it justifies the need

589
00:24:12,990 --> 00:24:15,390
to punish ostracize and dehumanize people

590
00:24:15,390 --> 00:24:16,980
with unlawful bodies.

591
00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:19,920
So carceral is basically
a referencing to prison,

592
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:21,750
the prison industrial complex.

593
00:24:21,750 --> 00:24:24,720
And what's interestingly
is like, you know,

594
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,510
I think amazing prison
abolitionists argue that

595
00:24:27,510 --> 00:24:29,948
when you look at the
culture, like, you know,

596
00:24:29,948 --> 00:24:32,190
a friend of mine is a poet and he says,

597
00:24:32,190 --> 00:24:34,200
if there's a prison in your city,

598
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,643
then your city is a prison.

599
00:24:36,660 --> 00:24:39,330
A basically rate the ways in which society

600
00:24:39,330 --> 00:24:41,610
has to be shaped and our psychology

601
00:24:41,610 --> 00:24:44,430
has to be shaped in
order to accept carceral

602
00:24:44,430 --> 00:24:46,560
at the level that we have
it in the United States.

603
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,720
So carceral shows up in diet culture

604
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,300
in how we treat our bodies in food.

605
00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:52,380
Colonialism, right?

606
00:24:52,380 --> 00:24:55,230
The body becomes the savage
or the racialized other

607
00:24:55,230 --> 00:24:58,110
that must be tamed,
disciplined, and governed

608
00:24:58,110 --> 00:25:01,530
by the more quote unquote
civilized coded as white mind

609
00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:02,910
and finally neoliberal.

610
00:25:02,910 --> 00:25:04,650
So neoliberal is a term,

611
00:25:04,650 --> 00:25:09,030
an economics term that references the way

612
00:25:09,030 --> 00:25:10,473
in which American capitalism works, right?

613
00:25:10,473 --> 00:25:12,630
Just like pick yourself
up by the bootstraps.

614
00:25:12,630 --> 00:25:13,830
If you want something bad enough,

615
00:25:13,830 --> 00:25:16,223
you can have it if you work hard enough,

616
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:17,400
if you didn't get it,

617
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,470
it's cause you didn't work hard enough.

618
00:25:19,470 --> 00:25:22,470
The individual is responsible
for controlling their body

619
00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:25,620
as private property in order
to prevent social punishment,

620
00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:29,250
including medical neglect
and medical pathology.

621
00:25:29,250 --> 00:25:30,600
So we're gonna keep going.

622
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,100
A lot of words, thank you
for hanging out with me.

623
00:25:34,470 --> 00:25:37,710
Let's move into defining
and examining fatphobia

624
00:25:37,710 --> 00:25:39,840
and anti-fatness.

625
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,280
Here we go.

626
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:42,810
What is fatphobia?

627
00:25:42,810 --> 00:25:44,100
What is anti-fatness?

628
00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:46,680
It is a socially
acceptable form of bigotry

629
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,240
against higher weight people

630
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,240
justified through the language
of health and morality.

631
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,210
And I really wanna
underscore the word bigotry.

632
00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:56,640
This is another thing that
happens when the conversation

633
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,310
gets completely focused on health, again,

634
00:25:59,310 --> 00:26:03,240
it invisibilize the
discrimination is occurring,

635
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,790
it creates a reality in which
someone can discriminate

636
00:26:05,790 --> 00:26:09,610
against a person and believe
that they are acting morally

637
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:12,930
through the lens of health, right?

638
00:26:12,930 --> 00:26:15,420
So it invisibilize the
act of discrimination

639
00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:18,060
to the person who is doing it
and to the culture at large.

640
00:26:18,060 --> 00:26:20,970
And the person who is
also experiencing it.

641
00:26:20,970 --> 00:26:23,040
Common fatphobic tropes and beliefs.

642
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,440
Fat people don't care about our health.

643
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:26,850
I was literally,

644
00:26:26,850 --> 00:26:30,284
I had an interview with NPR a few days ago

645
00:26:30,284 --> 00:26:33,690
and the person, it was
the show here and now

646
00:26:33,690 --> 00:26:35,730
and the host was like, well,

647
00:26:35,730 --> 00:26:37,530
and we're talking about
the New York City law.

648
00:26:37,530 --> 00:26:40,500
And she was like, well isn't
there a reason why for example,

649
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:42,780
like an employer wouldn't
want a fat person

650
00:26:42,780 --> 00:26:44,790
to sit at the desk at the gym?

651
00:26:44,790 --> 00:26:49,022
And I was like, well, I
mean, no, I don't think so.

652
00:26:49,022 --> 00:26:50,430
And she was like, well, but I mean,

653
00:26:50,430 --> 00:26:53,070
but like how would that
person know how to operate,

654
00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:55,440
like exercise machinery?

655
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,420
And I'm like, do you think the thin people

656
00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:58,869
are just born with it?

657
00:26:58,869 --> 00:27:00,150
I'm like, do you think every thin person

658
00:27:00,150 --> 00:27:02,545
just knows how to and we just, none of us.

659
00:27:02,545 --> 00:27:04,590
I was like, it was kind of, it was really,

660
00:27:04,590 --> 00:27:06,390
it was one of those
moments where you're like,

661
00:27:06,390 --> 00:27:08,160
I'm so grateful that
like you don't even know

662
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,210
how insulting 'cause I'm like,

663
00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:11,730
it's so useful for me
to understand the depths

664
00:27:11,730 --> 00:27:14,643
of the bigotry where it's just
like completely illogical.

665
00:27:15,570 --> 00:27:17,790
And I'm like, it's not like thin people,

666
00:27:17,790 --> 00:27:18,990
like are handed like, you know,

667
00:27:18,990 --> 00:27:20,730
more software, like a pamphlet

668
00:27:20,730 --> 00:27:22,620
and they all know how to
do use exercise equipment

669
00:27:22,620 --> 00:27:23,880
and we don't.

670
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,037
It's like, in fact, I
don't know if this is,

671
00:27:26,037 --> 00:27:29,152
has ever occurred to you
host of here and now,

672
00:27:29,152 --> 00:27:30,780
but is it possible that,
like, as a fat person,

673
00:27:30,780 --> 00:27:34,230
I am expected to know more about diets,

674
00:27:34,230 --> 00:27:35,220
and food restriction,

675
00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:37,620
and calories, and exercise equipment,

676
00:27:37,620 --> 00:27:40,863
than someone who isn't
experiencing what I'm experiencing.

677
00:27:41,967 --> 00:27:42,810
And I think it, it kind of,

678
00:27:42,810 --> 00:27:45,780
what's fascinating
about it and the bigotry

679
00:27:45,780 --> 00:27:49,830
is how real it is and
yet how invisible it is

680
00:27:49,830 --> 00:27:51,530
to people who don't experience it.

681
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,180
I mean, and I have to share this,

682
00:27:54,180 --> 00:27:55,950
I shared this this morning,
so if you were here,

683
00:27:55,950 --> 00:27:56,910
sorry for the repeat,

684
00:27:56,910 --> 00:27:59,580
but I remember a moment
having a conversation

685
00:27:59,580 --> 00:28:01,410
with a good friend who's a thin person,

686
00:28:01,410 --> 00:28:04,500
just who was a eating disorder survivor,

687
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:07,470
anorexia like an, you
know, former anorexic.

688
00:28:07,470 --> 00:28:12,470
And she's always been kind of
in a small body and she said,

689
00:28:12,870 --> 00:28:17,220
Virgie, when thin people,
people have always been thin,

690
00:28:17,220 --> 00:28:20,100
they look at fat people and they think,

691
00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:25,050
what would I have to do in my
imagination to be that size?

692
00:28:25,050 --> 00:28:28,410
They don't think this person
is working their butt off

693
00:28:28,410 --> 00:28:30,510
to try and like meet some standard

694
00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:33,780
that they're never gonna be
able to meet statistically.

695
00:28:33,780 --> 00:28:38,160
They're thinking that, oh, you
must never leave the house.

696
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,260
You must never go for a walk.

697
00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:43,170
You must eat five times what I eat.

698
00:28:43,170 --> 00:28:46,170
You must do 18 times more of this,

699
00:28:46,170 --> 00:28:48,540
and 18 times less of this.

700
00:28:48,540 --> 00:28:51,030
Because in order for me to be your size,

701
00:28:51,030 --> 00:28:52,800
that's what I would have to do, right?

702
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:53,981
That's kind of the,

703
00:28:53,981 --> 00:28:57,840
and it was like one of
those aha moments, right?

704
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,840
Because I'm living, right? I
just told you my whole story.

705
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,443
I was living with anorexia for
20 years and no one noticed.

706
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:09,510
And I'm like grilling rack every second

707
00:29:09,510 --> 00:29:12,660
of every day is dedicated
to becoming a thin person,

708
00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:14,793
which I'm being told is possible.

709
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,990
And so this is like
inconceivable. I'm like, what?

710
00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:21,960
They don't know that I'm
like out here hating myself,

711
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,380
like working out every day
eating lettuce for three months.

712
00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:26,370
How can they not know?

713
00:29:26,370 --> 00:29:28,110
How can they not notice, right?

714
00:29:28,110 --> 00:29:30,750
And so I think this is again
one of those things where

715
00:29:30,750 --> 00:29:32,730
if you're living in a marginalized body,

716
00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:33,990
whether it's a racialized body,

717
00:29:33,990 --> 00:29:36,000
or a disabled body or
like whatever, right?

718
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,760
That like the people who
aren't living that experience

719
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,520
have no idea how hard you're working.

720
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,115
They just think like they're
out here like killing it

721
00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:45,540
and like you're just sucking.

722
00:29:45,540 --> 00:29:47,070
And I'm like, no, I'm not here working

723
00:29:47,070 --> 00:29:48,690
six times as hard as you

724
00:29:48,690 --> 00:29:51,120
and not getting a third
of where you're getting,

725
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,360
just not even trying,
or maybe you are trying,

726
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,380
but like, I mean I think

727
00:29:55,380 --> 00:29:56,700
I learned this in college, right?

728
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:58,920
With with class privilege where it's like,

729
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:03,150
if you sort of start out
in a place of privilege,

730
00:30:03,150 --> 00:30:04,740
you can be working really hard.

731
00:30:04,740 --> 00:30:05,730
That doesn't mean that you're not,

732
00:30:05,730 --> 00:30:06,960
it doesn't mean you're not working hard

733
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,670
if you have accomplishments.

734
00:30:08,670 --> 00:30:11,670
But someone who doesn't
have that privilege

735
00:30:11,670 --> 00:30:13,980
can be working three times, four times,

736
00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:16,410
five times as hard and
won't even get halfway

737
00:30:16,410 --> 00:30:17,580
to where you are.

738
00:30:17,580 --> 00:30:19,530
And so I think it's
important to understand

739
00:30:19,530 --> 00:30:21,780
in the conversation about body size,

740
00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:25,860
that in fact a lot of higher weight people

741
00:30:25,860 --> 00:30:28,110
have either historically or currently

742
00:30:28,110 --> 00:30:31,260
working extremely hard to try and meet

743
00:30:31,260 --> 00:30:33,840
the thin standard that
our culture puts forward

744
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,940
and are dedicating their lives to it,

745
00:30:35,940 --> 00:30:39,360
and aren't getting the results
that they're supposed to get,

746
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:40,920
and they're blaming themselves.

747
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,570
I'm gonna show you the research of why

748
00:30:42,570 --> 00:30:43,590
they shouldn't blame themselves

749
00:30:43,590 --> 00:30:45,510
because the research is pretty clear.

750
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:48,030
Another trope is fat people can't have

751
00:30:48,030 --> 00:30:50,403
a restrictive eating
disorder like anorexia.

752
00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:55,563
Fat people can handle
more pain and suffering.

753
00:30:56,490 --> 00:30:58,920
So this leads to things like,

754
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,330
I think this is very subconscious,

755
00:31:00,330 --> 00:31:02,250
but this leads to things like doctors

756
00:31:02,250 --> 00:31:04,800
not prescribing as much pain medication.

757
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:09,060
Doctors not prescribing care
when fat patients come in

758
00:31:09,060 --> 00:31:11,220
and have a symptom.

759
00:31:11,220 --> 00:31:14,010
Fat people's desire and
autonomy doesn't matter.

760
00:31:14,010 --> 00:31:17,637
Including forcing advice and
weight loss onto fat people.

761
00:31:17,637 --> 00:31:20,070
Fat people don't know or
understand how to be healthy,

762
00:31:20,070 --> 00:31:22,350
otherwise they would be thin people.

763
00:31:22,350 --> 00:31:24,720
And finally, thin
people's beliefs about us

764
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,693
matter more than what
we think, want, or need.

765
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,630
So again, this is where you see the clear,

766
00:31:30,630 --> 00:31:33,540
I mean for me it's like the
discrimination component

767
00:31:33,540 --> 00:31:36,300
is very clear because the first
class citizen in our culture

768
00:31:36,300 --> 00:31:38,190
is supposed to be thin people

769
00:31:38,190 --> 00:31:39,270
and the second class citizen

770
00:31:39,270 --> 00:31:41,550
is supposed to be higher weight people.

771
00:31:41,550 --> 00:31:42,990
And this kind of shows up in like,

772
00:31:42,990 --> 00:31:45,990
very in I think subconscious attitudes.

773
00:31:45,990 --> 00:31:47,073
So let's keep going.

774
00:31:49,290 --> 00:31:53,010
Okay, so here are some more
examples of fatphobic attitudes,

775
00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:55,770
or beliefs. Some of them are
a little bit more subtle,

776
00:31:55,770 --> 00:31:57,870
so I wanted to really delineate them.

777
00:31:57,870 --> 00:32:01,080
Higher weight people
can become thin people,

778
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,930
this belief that any
person of any size can,

779
00:32:03,930 --> 00:32:06,780
if they want badly enough,
to not only become thin,

780
00:32:06,780 --> 00:32:08,880
but to stay thin their entire lives.

781
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,700
There's also a belief I think
that higher weight people

782
00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:13,200
somehow are ill.

783
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,960
And so if we get past a certain point,

784
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,740
or we lose a certain amount of weight,

785
00:32:16,740 --> 00:32:19,530
then we will have shed
the illness or something.

786
00:32:19,530 --> 00:32:22,770
Which is, I mean, that whole
framework is not correct.

787
00:32:22,770 --> 00:32:25,680
And also very bigoted that
higher weight people are sick,

788
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,050
or have an emotional eating problem.

789
00:32:28,050 --> 00:32:30,150
That higher weight people are
struggling with their weight.

790
00:32:30,150 --> 00:32:31,920
Again all higher weight people

791
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:32,910
are struggling with their weight.

792
00:32:32,910 --> 00:32:36,810
All higher weight people
want to be thin people.

793
00:32:36,810 --> 00:32:39,420
All higher weight people
are always less healthy

794
00:32:39,420 --> 00:32:40,653
than thin people.

795
00:32:41,664 --> 00:32:44,430
Fat people are less
disciplined than thin people,

796
00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:45,480
need to be on a diet,

797
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,250
can't possibly have anorexia or bulimia,

798
00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:48,390
already talked about that.

799
00:32:48,390 --> 00:32:50,910
Are less capable or
desirable as a colleague,

800
00:32:50,910 --> 00:32:52,980
or a candidate, or a partner.

801
00:32:52,980 --> 00:32:55,950
Will die young because of their weight.

802
00:32:55,950 --> 00:32:58,380
Mind you, I would just
wanna say, you know,

803
00:32:58,380 --> 00:32:59,940
we're gonna talk about BMI in a second,

804
00:32:59,940 --> 00:33:01,920
but technically speaking,

805
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,430
people in the overweight category
live the longest of anyone

806
00:33:05,430 --> 00:33:07,560
just putting that out there.

807
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,660
Should that fat people should accept

808
00:33:09,660 --> 00:33:12,420
the prevailing public
health approach to weight.

809
00:33:12,420 --> 00:33:14,310
That fat people should uncritically obey

810
00:33:14,310 --> 00:33:15,570
the medical field's advice

811
00:33:15,570 --> 00:33:19,140
despite its history of harming
people in larger bodies.

812
00:33:19,140 --> 00:33:20,643
So let's continue.

813
00:33:22,350 --> 00:33:23,760
I wanna get into some of like,

814
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,200
the impact the live reality.

815
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,040
So I talked a little bit,

816
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,790
I alluded to this in my own
story, but in the United States,

817
00:33:29,790 --> 00:33:32,850
most children have already
begun to internalize fatphobia

818
00:33:32,850 --> 00:33:34,260
by the age of five.

819
00:33:34,260 --> 00:33:36,660
Researchers go in and they
ask groups of five year olds

820
00:33:36,660 --> 00:33:38,490
if they would rather
lose an arm, or be fat,

821
00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:39,870
or lose a parent, or be fat.

822
00:33:39,870 --> 00:33:44,730
And they always choose losing
an arm or losing a parent.

823
00:33:44,730 --> 00:33:46,980
I already mentioned this figure 9,000

824
00:33:46,980 --> 00:33:48,540
is sort of the bottom rate for,

825
00:33:48,540 --> 00:33:50,190
or the bottom estimate of the range

826
00:33:50,190 --> 00:33:54,150
of how much income that
fat women lose per year,

827
00:33:54,150 --> 00:33:58,080
in sort of in comparison to
their straight sized colleagues.

828
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,420
And when the researchers
got in and were like,

829
00:34:00,420 --> 00:34:01,560
what is this about?

830
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,250
They found that in general
that plus size people,

831
00:34:05,250 --> 00:34:07,380
plus size women in
particular in this case,

832
00:34:07,380 --> 00:34:10,500
were often opting into
or were getting pushed

833
00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:12,570
into more care oriented,

834
00:34:12,570 --> 00:34:15,390
non-client facing lower paying jobs.

835
00:34:15,390 --> 00:34:17,640
So often more physically oriented jobs

836
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:18,810
that are lower paying.

837
00:34:18,810 --> 00:34:23,130
And that thin or straight
size people were more likely

838
00:34:23,130 --> 00:34:25,110
to end up in client facing positions

839
00:34:25,110 --> 00:34:28,593
that are more sedentary desk
work that is higher paid.

840
00:34:29,490 --> 00:34:31,830
So that's kind of one
of the biggest theories

841
00:34:31,830 --> 00:34:34,020
as to what this disparity is.

842
00:34:34,020 --> 00:34:35,010
And I mentioned this already,

843
00:34:35,010 --> 00:34:38,460
68% is the percentage of US
women though across the board,

844
00:34:38,460 --> 00:34:40,200
people of all genders in general,

845
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:44,430
about 70% of people in the
US are a size 14 or above,

846
00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:46,323
or are plus size in a larger body.

847
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,620
Let's keep going. Oh,
these are a lot of words.

848
00:34:49,620 --> 00:34:51,002
Again, thank you so much

849
00:34:51,002 --> 00:34:55,680
for hanging out with me and
looking at all these words.

850
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,180
So we're gonna get into kind of,

851
00:34:57,180 --> 00:34:59,040
we're gonna get into the
nitty gritty of the data.

852
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,260
Cause I think it's
really, really powerful.

853
00:35:01,260 --> 00:35:03,570
I'm gonna read this to you.

854
00:35:03,570 --> 00:35:05,523
This is from a 2020 paper.

855
00:35:06,690 --> 00:35:09,420
Health policies routinely
emphasize weight loss

856
00:35:09,420 --> 00:35:11,460
as a target for health promotion.

857
00:35:11,460 --> 00:35:14,700
These policies rest upon the assumptions,

858
00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:18,090
one, that higher body
weight equals poorer health.

859
00:35:18,090 --> 00:35:21,600
Two, that long-term weight
loss is widely achievable.

860
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,130
And three, that weight loss

861
00:35:23,130 --> 00:35:25,890
results in consistent
improvements in physical health.

862
00:35:25,890 --> 00:35:27,960
Our of the literature suggests that these

863
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,870
three assumptions are not
supported empirically.

864
00:35:30,870 --> 00:35:32,220
So what does that mean?

865
00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:34,200
That's a lot of big words.

866
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,940
What it means is that we have these

867
00:35:35,940 --> 00:35:38,250
kind of three very, very
important presumptions

868
00:35:38,250 --> 00:35:39,900
that go into how we think of health

869
00:35:39,900 --> 00:35:41,640
and how we measure health.

870
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,370
And all three of them aren't
supported by the data.

871
00:35:44,370 --> 00:35:45,300
So the first one,

872
00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:48,330
that higher weight people are
always less healthy, not true.

873
00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:50,490
I'm gonna, there's a data point in here

874
00:35:50,490 --> 00:35:52,770
that I'm gonna talk about
in there in a second.

875
00:35:52,770 --> 00:35:55,170
That long-term weight
loss is widely achievable,

876
00:35:55,170 --> 00:35:56,700
also not true.

877
00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:59,130
And that weight loss results
and consistent improvements

878
00:35:59,130 --> 00:36:02,040
in physical health, also not true.

879
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,160
So these are major presumptions
in the health discussion

880
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,650
and the art and sort of
like the cultural zeitgeist

881
00:36:07,650 --> 00:36:09,150
the moment we're in right now.

882
00:36:12,150 --> 00:36:14,310
Okay, so food restriction.

883
00:36:14,310 --> 00:36:15,510
So I mean, what's interesting, right?

884
00:36:15,510 --> 00:36:16,740
Let me go back really quickly.

885
00:36:16,740 --> 00:36:18,490
No, I don't know how to click back.

886
00:36:19,740 --> 00:36:22,080
What's important to
understand is that there are

887
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,590
sort of like, let's call it three things

888
00:36:25,590 --> 00:36:30,590
that really, you know,
basically create larger bodies.

889
00:36:30,930 --> 00:36:35,220
The first, the most, the
biggest one is genetics.

890
00:36:35,220 --> 00:36:37,530
Genetics is the biggest
indicator of generally

891
00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:38,790
what size you're gonna be

892
00:36:38,790 --> 00:36:42,090
and what weight range
you're gonna kind of be at.

893
00:36:42,090 --> 00:36:44,460
Again, this is like, I mean,

894
00:36:44,460 --> 00:36:45,660
I was gonna put an asterisks on it,

895
00:36:45,660 --> 00:36:46,740
but that's gonna get too confusing.

896
00:36:46,740 --> 00:36:47,573
So we're start there.

897
00:36:47,573 --> 00:36:49,080
So genetics is the big one.

898
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,860
The other big one is dieting, that changes

899
00:36:52,860 --> 00:36:56,250
and makes people tends to
like move your set point,

900
00:36:56,250 --> 00:36:57,480
which we'll talk about in a second,

901
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,030
higher and higher over time,
the longer that you do it.

902
00:37:00,030 --> 00:37:03,480
And the third is stuff we
can't understand or explain.

903
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,010
So those are the three things

904
00:37:05,010 --> 00:37:07,680
that kind of create larger bodies.

905
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:11,160
So I think it's important
to understand that, right?

906
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:12,690
Like, you know,

907
00:37:12,690 --> 00:37:15,630
I think that might be
surprising to hear, right?

908
00:37:15,630 --> 00:37:18,420
So yeah, so food restriction aka dieting

909
00:37:18,420 --> 00:37:22,200
is not correlated with
long-term weight loss,

910
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,560
but it is correlated with
an increased likelihood

911
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:26,490
of an eating disorder.

912
00:37:26,490 --> 00:37:28,410
Like I said, one in four people who diet

913
00:37:28,410 --> 00:37:29,973
go on to have eating disorders,

914
00:37:31,470 --> 00:37:34,890
depression, anxiety, binging,

915
00:37:34,890 --> 00:37:36,510
disconnection from hunger cues,

916
00:37:36,510 --> 00:37:38,523
worse long-term decision making,

917
00:37:39,420 --> 00:37:41,100
delaying of important life moments

918
00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:43,320
and kind of the ongoing dehumanizing

919
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,183
and stressful experience of hunger.

920
00:37:47,610 --> 00:37:51,270
So again, food restriction is
correlated with all of this.

921
00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:55,800
It's not correlated with better
long-term health outcomes.

922
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,690
Again, longitudinally speaking,

923
00:37:57,690 --> 00:38:01,590
it's not correlated with
people becoming thin people,

924
00:38:01,590 --> 00:38:04,500
it's not correlated with
better mental health.

925
00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:05,940
It's correlated with these things.

926
00:38:05,940 --> 00:38:07,440
That's what the research says.

927
00:38:08,310 --> 00:38:10,653
So let's keep going.

928
00:38:12,180 --> 00:38:14,040
So this is about kind of preventive care.

929
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,460
So higher BMI was associated
with less frequent receipt

930
00:38:17,460 --> 00:38:19,920
of preventive services among
middle-aged white women,

931
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,660
elderly white women and men.

932
00:38:21,660 --> 00:38:23,220
There's a lot of these data points,

933
00:38:23,220 --> 00:38:25,170
this is just from one very specific paper,

934
00:38:25,170 --> 00:38:27,180
but across the board in general,

935
00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:30,330
higher weight people receive
less preventive care.

936
00:38:30,330 --> 00:38:31,770
What does that mean, right?

937
00:38:31,770 --> 00:38:32,880
Like it means a few things.

938
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,140
First of all, that higher weight people

939
00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:36,630
are perhaps opting out of potentially

940
00:38:36,630 --> 00:38:38,430
discriminatory medical experiences.

941
00:38:38,430 --> 00:38:41,460
And it also means that, you know,

942
00:38:41,460 --> 00:38:44,070
medical providers are refusing
to give the preventive care.

943
00:38:44,070 --> 00:38:46,830
And this means that when medical providers

944
00:38:46,830 --> 00:38:49,440
are seeing their fat patients over time

945
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,650
with less medical care,
with less preventive care,

946
00:38:52,650 --> 00:38:54,510
potentially opting out of medical care

947
00:38:54,510 --> 00:38:55,860
because of discrimination,

948
00:38:55,860 --> 00:38:58,680
they're now seeing this fat
patient in the more acute states

949
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,050
of distress and more
acute states of illness,

950
00:39:01,050 --> 00:39:05,640
which reinforces the discrimination
and the bigoted ideas

951
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:06,960
that the whole thing started with.

952
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,030
So it ends up kind of becoming
this really vicious cycle.

953
00:39:09,030 --> 00:39:12,360
And we see this with other
discriminated groups as well,

954
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,060
like people of color, queer
people, trans people also.

955
00:39:16,405 --> 00:39:18,063
Let's keep going.

956
00:39:20,018 --> 00:39:22,650
This is an image of Rebecca Hiles

957
00:39:22,650 --> 00:39:24,720
who at the time of this interview in 2018,

958
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:26,400
she was 28 years old,

959
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,090
but she began to have
really acute coughing fit

960
00:39:29,090 --> 00:39:31,170
to the point that she
couldn't really breathe

961
00:39:31,170 --> 00:39:32,190
and went to the doctor.

962
00:39:32,190 --> 00:39:34,650
So on several occasions and
was told, you're just fat,

963
00:39:34,650 --> 00:39:37,110
you just need to lose weight
and these will go away.

964
00:39:37,110 --> 00:39:39,753
It turns out that she had cancer.

965
00:39:40,715 --> 00:39:43,350
And so this case is being,

966
00:39:43,350 --> 00:39:44,910
I think it's still being adjudicated.

967
00:39:44,910 --> 00:39:48,990
She went in and decided to sue
her doctors based on neglect.

968
00:39:48,990 --> 00:39:50,160
And I mean, right?

969
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:54,360
Like this is one of those
outcomes which happens, right?

970
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,700
When sort of discrimination
disallows doctors

971
00:39:56,700 --> 00:39:59,400
from taking higher weight
patients seriously.

972
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,670
And again, when I talk to
people in larger bodies

973
00:40:02,670 --> 00:40:05,580
about their experience with
medical care in general,

974
00:40:05,580 --> 00:40:09,120
the story is I come in
for anything, a cough,

975
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,640
an ear infection, my knee hurts,

976
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,530
I have like, something weird is happening.

977
00:40:13,530 --> 00:40:15,060
I'm having coughing fits,

978
00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:18,750
the recommendation is
always just lose weight.

979
00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:22,650
There's no serious treatment
of the issue typically.

980
00:40:22,650 --> 00:40:24,363
So let's keep going.

981
00:40:25,950 --> 00:40:28,530
Higher BMI was associated,
oh, I already did this one.

982
00:40:28,530 --> 00:40:30,150
Sorry about that.

983
00:40:30,150 --> 00:40:32,670
It's, I need to, okay,

984
00:40:32,670 --> 00:40:34,230
wait, sorry, I can't see.

985
00:40:34,230 --> 00:40:37,350
Does this slide say weight
discrimination was associated?

986
00:40:37,350 --> 00:40:38,880
Okay. Actually, I'm sorry, I can see it.

987
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:39,930
You're right. You're pointing to me.

988
00:40:39,930 --> 00:40:41,190
Thank you.

989
00:40:41,190 --> 00:40:43,470
Weight discrimination was
associated with an increase

990
00:40:43,470 --> 00:40:46,980
in mortality risk of
nearly 60% in participants.

991
00:40:46,980 --> 00:40:49,050
This increased risk was not accounted for

992
00:40:49,050 --> 00:40:51,960
by common physical and
psychological risk factors.

993
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,960
In addition to its association
with poor health outcomes,

994
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,590
weight discrimination may
shorten life expectancy.

995
00:40:58,590 --> 00:41:01,260
So this is a really important, again,

996
00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:03,690
when we're talking about
kind of the health argument

997
00:41:03,690 --> 00:41:05,640
and the human rights argument,

998
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,550
one of the things that
rarely gets brought up

999
00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:10,470
in the conversation
about health and weight,

1000
00:41:10,470 --> 00:41:14,070
is the ways in which
stigma impacts health.

1001
00:41:14,070 --> 00:41:16,740
And again, there's a body of research

1002
00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:19,590
called Minority Stress theory
that really talks about

1003
00:41:19,590 --> 00:41:21,450
how if you're in a marginalized group,

1004
00:41:21,450 --> 00:41:25,500
it creates outcomes like
having a shortened life,

1005
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:27,840
like having cardiovascular issues,

1006
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,080
having high blood pressure,
having issues with major organs.

1007
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,080
These things are all connected to stress,

1008
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,430
whether you're a person of color,

1009
00:41:35,430 --> 00:41:36,990
or you're experiencing weight stigma,

1010
00:41:36,990 --> 00:41:39,120
or you're a queer person, right?

1011
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,060
Stress related impact on the body

1012
00:41:42,060 --> 00:41:44,610
is never considered
when we're talking about

1013
00:41:44,610 --> 00:41:46,410
the issue of weight.

1014
00:41:46,410 --> 00:41:47,283
Let's keep going.

1015
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:50,400
So I wanna meet,

1016
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,430
I want you to introduce
you to Adolphe Quetelet,

1017
00:41:53,430 --> 00:41:55,800
who invented the BMI.

1018
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,199
Has anyone heard of
Adolphe Quetelet before?

1019
00:41:59,199 --> 00:42:01,223
Yeah, there's been a lot of articles about

1020
00:42:01,223 --> 00:42:03,120
(indistinct) Adolphe lately.

1021
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,430
So he was a Belgian mathematician

1022
00:42:05,430 --> 00:42:10,430
who invented the BMI in the
1830s using only white men,

1023
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,353
specifically likes soldiers.

1024
00:42:14,190 --> 00:42:16,530
And the BMI is still used
as the ultimate measure

1025
00:42:16,530 --> 00:42:17,940
of health in the United States.

1026
00:42:17,940 --> 00:42:20,940
It's important to take a
second to talk about Adolphe,

1027
00:42:20,940 --> 00:42:23,340
because I think a few things, right?

1028
00:42:23,340 --> 00:42:24,480
So what Adolphe did was,

1029
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,280
he brought in all these soldiers

1030
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:29,880
and he weighed all of them
and he averaged their weights

1031
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,290
and it created a bell curve.

1032
00:42:31,290 --> 00:42:34,860
So then what Adolphe did
was is he took the median,

1033
00:42:34,860 --> 00:42:37,380
sort of like the center point
of the bell curve and said,

1034
00:42:37,380 --> 00:42:39,210
this is the ideal man

1035
00:42:39,210 --> 00:42:41,520
from which all other men deviate, right?

1036
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:42,353
There's, again,

1037
00:42:42,353 --> 00:42:44,850
there's nothing in the data
that indicate that median,

1038
00:42:44,850 --> 00:42:46,110
the median is just the median.

1039
00:42:46,110 --> 00:42:48,480
It has nothing to do with
superiority or inferiority

1040
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,580
by that person's ideal or not ideal.

1041
00:42:50,580 --> 00:42:55,380
But he sort of projected that
his own opinion onto the data

1042
00:42:55,380 --> 00:42:57,720
and his work, it's important to know,

1043
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:01,890
ended up becoming some of
the undergirding of eugenics.

1044
00:43:01,890 --> 00:43:04,260
So I think when we think about the BMI

1045
00:43:04,260 --> 00:43:05,880
and the history of the BMI,

1046
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,060
which emerged at the height of
colonialism, not an accident,

1047
00:43:09,060 --> 00:43:11,370
I would say so, right?

1048
00:43:11,370 --> 00:43:13,110
Like, you know, some people argue

1049
00:43:13,110 --> 00:43:15,600
just because a tool has
a problematic history,

1050
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:16,980
doesn't mean we should throw out the tool,

1051
00:43:16,980 --> 00:43:18,540
which I would generally agree with.

1052
00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:21,903
I think what's complicated
about the BMI though is, right?

1053
00:43:22,770 --> 00:43:25,770
To this day, the BMI
determines things like,

1054
00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:28,770
whether or not you will
get life insurance,

1055
00:43:28,770 --> 00:43:30,390
whether or not you will
get health insurance

1056
00:43:30,390 --> 00:43:32,670
and how much it costs.

1057
00:43:32,670 --> 00:43:35,550
It determines things like, you know,

1058
00:43:35,550 --> 00:43:37,050
like I think about the BMI

1059
00:43:37,050 --> 00:43:38,940
being taken from me in high school,

1060
00:43:38,940 --> 00:43:42,300
it determines where I
rank in like kind of the,

1061
00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:43,350
in my PE class,

1062
00:43:43,350 --> 00:43:44,520
which is then sent onto this like,

1063
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,730
national fitness standard test, right?

1064
00:43:47,730 --> 00:43:50,730
So I mean, and also BMI determines, like,

1065
00:43:50,730 --> 00:43:53,460
and when we're looking at populations,

1066
00:43:53,460 --> 00:43:56,280
BMI determines who's getting
public health intervention

1067
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:57,720
and who's not.

1068
00:43:57,720 --> 00:44:00,536
So if you're in a zip
code that has higher BMIs,

1069
00:44:00,536 --> 00:44:02,010
you're more likely to be targeted

1070
00:44:02,010 --> 00:44:06,063
for all kinds of public
health interventions.

1071
00:44:07,050 --> 00:44:09,510
So, you know, arguably,

1072
00:44:09,510 --> 00:44:11,460
even though this tool was designed

1073
00:44:11,460 --> 00:44:13,020
for a very different purpose,

1074
00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:16,410
it is still basically separating the ideal

1075
00:44:16,410 --> 00:44:19,560
from the non-ideal who
will be intervened upon

1076
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,210
and who will not,

1077
00:44:21,210 --> 00:44:23,883
who is seen as a learner,
who is seen as a knower.

1078
00:44:25,470 --> 00:44:29,910
Okay, continuing on, I
wanna talk about healthism.

1079
00:44:29,910 --> 00:44:31,650
It's a very, I think
it's really important.

1080
00:44:31,650 --> 00:44:34,530
I already used the, I already
talked about neoliberalism,

1081
00:44:34,530 --> 00:44:36,150
which is the idea of like,

1082
00:44:36,150 --> 00:44:39,660
everybody just pull themselves
up by their bootstraps.

1083
00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:43,920
That economic principle
is applied to health

1084
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:44,910
in our culture.

1085
00:44:44,910 --> 00:44:47,670
So healthism is the belief
system that sees health

1086
00:44:47,670 --> 00:44:51,810
as the property and
responsibility of the individual

1087
00:44:51,810 --> 00:44:53,640
and ranks the personal pursuit of health

1088
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,080
above anything else.

1089
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,060
And there's a little paragraph
at the bottom, right?

1090
00:44:57,060 --> 00:44:57,990
Essentially, right?

1091
00:44:57,990 --> 00:44:59,550
This belief is not based in data.

1092
00:44:59,550 --> 00:45:01,830
I'm about to show you
this as well. So, right?

1093
00:45:01,830 --> 00:45:03,570
Like again, when we're
talking about weight,

1094
00:45:03,570 --> 00:45:06,600
we're talking about how
there is this like belief

1095
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:10,357
that the individual has 100% control

1096
00:45:12,060 --> 00:45:14,520
over how long,

1097
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,520
and how long their life is
and the quality of their life.

1098
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,440
That's the belief in the United States.

1099
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,090
And what I'm about to show you is like,

1100
00:45:21,090 --> 00:45:24,060
that's not actually what
research says like at all.

1101
00:45:24,060 --> 00:45:27,240
But it's a very strong
belief because, right?

1102
00:45:27,240 --> 00:45:28,073
Why?

1103
00:45:28,073 --> 00:45:32,760
Because essentially if we are
all individually responsible

1104
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:36,480
for how well we live, or how long we live,

1105
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,480
then the culture doesn't
have to do anything, right?

1106
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,450
Like you don't need universal healthcare,

1107
00:45:42,450 --> 00:45:45,660
like anything that any other
democratic socialist countries

1108
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:47,820
slash not even many countries

1109
00:45:47,820 --> 00:45:49,710
that aren't even democratic
socialist countries,

1110
00:45:49,710 --> 00:45:50,937
like you don't need that.

1111
00:45:50,937 --> 00:45:54,270
You just need to work
really hard and cleanse

1112
00:45:54,270 --> 00:45:55,680
you need to like drink juice,

1113
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:56,997
and you need to like do the,

1114
00:45:56,997 --> 00:45:59,910
and you don't need
healthcare that's affordable.

1115
00:45:59,910 --> 00:46:02,100
You need to cleanse, right?

1116
00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:03,480
And so I think the whole, right?

1117
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:06,660
And so it really goes back
to that kind of individual.

1118
00:46:06,660 --> 00:46:09,360
Like who bears the responsibility?

1119
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:12,150
Does the individual bear
responsibility for everything

1120
00:46:12,150 --> 00:46:13,200
they experience?

1121
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,180
Or is the culture that's like, right,

1122
00:46:15,180 --> 00:46:17,043
benefiting from the citizens,

1123
00:46:18,030 --> 00:46:19,620
are they responsible for something?

1124
00:46:19,620 --> 00:46:21,030
And how much?

1125
00:46:21,030 --> 00:46:23,403
So let's get into the
research on kind of like,

1126
00:46:24,630 --> 00:46:26,700
why this isn't substantiated by data.

1127
00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:30,090
So this is kind of a question,

1128
00:46:30,090 --> 00:46:32,010
but the answer's already circled.

1129
00:46:32,010 --> 00:46:34,320
How much do individual
determinants of health impact

1130
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:37,920
our overall health as compared
to, Ooh, I jumped the gun.

1131
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:41,070
Hold on y'all, I need to
back up and say something.

1132
00:46:41,070 --> 00:46:45,210
I'm gonna back up for real.
This I did it. (laughs)

1133
00:46:45,210 --> 00:46:47,310
So our health is actually, you know,

1134
00:46:47,310 --> 00:46:49,230
every person in here,

1135
00:46:49,230 --> 00:46:51,930
your health is made up of a combination

1136
00:46:51,930 --> 00:46:55,980
of social determinants and
individual determinants.

1137
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:57,174
So that's like, you know,

1138
00:46:57,174 --> 00:46:59,310
everyone in here is overall health

1139
00:46:59,310 --> 00:47:01,080
in the pie chart of your health,

1140
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,060
there's a combination
of social determinants

1141
00:47:03,060 --> 00:47:04,410
and individual determinants.

1142
00:47:04,410 --> 00:47:06,480
So social determinants
are things over which

1143
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:07,950
you have no control,

1144
00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:10,620
whether or not you experience oppression,

1145
00:47:10,620 --> 00:47:13,200
whether or not you grew up
having access to clean water,

1146
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,260
public transportation,
you know, basically if,

1147
00:47:16,260 --> 00:47:19,590
did you live in an area
that had a lot of resources?

1148
00:47:19,590 --> 00:47:22,740
Did you grow up in a home with a parent

1149
00:47:22,740 --> 00:47:25,819
who was emotionally regulated
or dysregulated, right?

1150
00:47:25,819 --> 00:47:27,090
Did you, like, these kinds
of privileges, right?

1151
00:47:27,090 --> 00:47:28,793
Did you grow up with that or did you not?

1152
00:47:28,793 --> 00:47:29,820
These are things that
people can't control.

1153
00:47:29,820 --> 00:47:32,670
You cannot control what
home you grew up in,

1154
00:47:32,670 --> 00:47:33,900
what neighborhood you grew up in.

1155
00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:35,670
These things are very, very important

1156
00:47:35,670 --> 00:47:37,140
in social determinants of health.

1157
00:47:37,140 --> 00:47:39,390
And then there's the individual
determinants of health,

1158
00:47:39,390 --> 00:47:41,070
which are the stuff we're talking about,

1159
00:47:41,070 --> 00:47:44,820
food, exercise, meditation.

1160
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:48,630
A huge other part of individual
determinants is genetics.

1161
00:47:48,630 --> 00:47:50,760
So within the overall pie chart, again,

1162
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,223
we're talking about social, individual,

1163
00:47:54,090 --> 00:47:55,830
the question that I'm posing for you

1164
00:47:55,830 --> 00:47:57,450
is what percentage in the pie,

1165
00:47:57,450 --> 00:47:58,680
I've already, you already saw the answer,

1166
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:02,070
but what percentage in the
pie is social determinants

1167
00:48:02,070 --> 00:48:03,660
versus individual determinants?

1168
00:48:03,660 --> 00:48:05,973
And we come to learn that,

1169
00:48:07,620 --> 00:48:11,580
the answer is 30 to 40%
of your overall health

1170
00:48:11,580 --> 00:48:13,410
is something you can
individually determine.

1171
00:48:13,410 --> 00:48:18,410
And that 30% figure is
the CDC and 40% is Kaiser.

1172
00:48:18,540 --> 00:48:20,340
So I mean, I'm more inclined to the CDC,

1173
00:48:20,340 --> 00:48:21,930
but I thought I put the
Kaiser number out there

1174
00:48:21,930 --> 00:48:25,020
since it's a bit more conservative.

1175
00:48:25,020 --> 00:48:28,530
So anyway, I'm inclined to
sort of believe the CDC,

1176
00:48:28,530 --> 00:48:29,490
I'm gonna favor that one

1177
00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:31,290
in this conversation moving forward.

1178
00:48:32,220 --> 00:48:35,520
So yeah, so just to kind
of really, really like,

1179
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:36,780
get it in there, right?

1180
00:48:36,780 --> 00:48:39,570
So our overall health in the pie chart,

1181
00:48:39,570 --> 00:48:44,160
30% of our overall health
is individual determinants.

1182
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:48,840
And within that 30% is
genetics, which is probably,

1183
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,310
I don't have the numbers on this one,

1184
00:48:50,310 --> 00:48:54,870
but we could probably guess
it's probably at least 5%

1185
00:48:54,870 --> 00:48:57,283
if not 15%, if not a lot more, right?

1186
00:48:57,283 --> 00:48:59,550
I don't know, but let's just call it,

1187
00:48:59,550 --> 00:49:02,640
let's call it 5% be really conservative.

1188
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:07,170
So 25% of the pie is what's left

1189
00:49:07,170 --> 00:49:10,170
of how you eat, whether you meditate,

1190
00:49:10,170 --> 00:49:12,870
whether or not you get enough
sleep, all that stuff, right?

1191
00:49:12,870 --> 00:49:15,420
Is left in that 25%.

1192
00:49:15,420 --> 00:49:17,952
So, and again, this is sort of,

1193
00:49:17,952 --> 00:49:19,410
I mean, if you can go
into the CDC website,

1194
00:49:19,410 --> 00:49:22,050
look all of this stuff up.

1195
00:49:22,050 --> 00:49:23,580
So I mean, the question for me,

1196
00:49:23,580 --> 00:49:25,560
the philosophical question becomes,

1197
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:30,560
how are we so obsessed with that 25, 30%,

1198
00:49:30,900 --> 00:49:33,570
and why aren't we at
least twice as obsessed

1199
00:49:33,570 --> 00:49:35,460
with that 70% figure?

1200
00:49:35,460 --> 00:49:38,670
Because isn't that where we
should be moving the needle?

1201
00:49:38,670 --> 00:49:39,570
So I mean, right?

1202
00:49:39,570 --> 00:49:41,580
Like, I mean, I just
kind of, I think again,

1203
00:49:41,580 --> 00:49:43,860
like when we're talking
about this conversation,

1204
00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:47,490
I always learn that people
really, really have this belief

1205
00:49:47,490 --> 00:49:49,560
that their individual behaviors

1206
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,360
are what is determining their health.

1207
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,910
It is terrifying, in fact,

1208
00:49:53,910 --> 00:49:56,340
to accept that how long you live

1209
00:49:56,340 --> 00:50:00,150
and the quality of your life
is largely out of your hands.

1210
00:50:00,150 --> 00:50:01,950
It's really scary.

1211
00:50:01,950 --> 00:50:04,080
And that's where diet culture comes from.

1212
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,570
The dealing with the terror of that,

1213
00:50:06,570 --> 00:50:08,760
dealing with the terror
of the fact that like,

1214
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:10,810
we kind of get the hand that we're dealt.

1215
00:50:11,694 --> 00:50:12,600
And it doesn't mean,

1216
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:14,310
it doesn't mean that those individual

1217
00:50:14,310 --> 00:50:17,130
that trump that 25% doesn't matter,

1218
00:50:17,130 --> 00:50:20,280
but it really contextualizes kind of like,

1219
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,070
what all of this
conversation is really about.

1220
00:50:23,070 --> 00:50:24,570
We're really pushing for something

1221
00:50:24,570 --> 00:50:26,913
that is largely out of people's control.

1222
00:50:28,590 --> 00:50:31,290
Okay, moving on.

1223
00:50:31,290 --> 00:50:35,160
So I wanna kind of explore the
frameworks of fat positivity

1224
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,500
and food positivity.
We've got a little bit,

1225
00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:39,210
I know we have to leave at six,

1226
00:50:39,210 --> 00:50:40,740
are we leaving at six ,

1227
00:50:40,740 --> 00:50:43,950
or am I supposed to end this?

1228
00:50:43,950 --> 00:50:48,950
What? 5:40, 40, okay, great.

1229
00:50:49,290 --> 00:50:51,390
Okay, gotta move it along.

1230
00:50:51,390 --> 00:50:53,580
I don't think we will have
time for Q and A unfortunately,

1231
00:50:53,580 --> 00:50:54,750
but, okay.

1232
00:50:54,750 --> 00:50:56,250
But feel free to come
talk to me afterwards

1233
00:50:56,250 --> 00:50:59,040
if you want. So we're gonna
explore these frameworks.

1234
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:00,693
I think they're really powerful.

1235
00:51:01,890 --> 00:51:03,930
Let's, I'm gonna skip ahead.

1236
00:51:03,930 --> 00:51:06,120
Oops. This one is formatted very poorly.

1237
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:07,800
Oh no, it looks great on the screen.

1238
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:12,600
Okay. So how do we shift
the focus away from food,

1239
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:16,680
away from like the fear
of disease and death

1240
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,910
and towards joy, positivity and aliveness?

1241
00:51:20,910 --> 00:51:21,810
And I think for me,

1242
00:51:21,810 --> 00:51:23,700
certainly as a person in
a larger body, though,

1243
00:51:23,700 --> 00:51:26,730
I think everybody of all sizes can adopt

1244
00:51:26,730 --> 00:51:28,590
something called fat positivity.

1245
00:51:28,590 --> 00:51:32,250
So fat positivity is this
set of principles, right?

1246
00:51:32,250 --> 00:51:34,260
Seeing fat bodies is a natural,

1247
00:51:34,260 --> 00:51:36,900
beautiful part of body diversity.

1248
00:51:36,900 --> 00:51:40,500
Understanding that weight
gain or weight restoration

1249
00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:44,040
can be a very positive and
important part of healing

1250
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,080
for people of all sizes.

1251
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,450
And I think really it's
important to understand,

1252
00:51:48,450 --> 00:51:51,780
I'll get back to the third
thing on the slide in a second.

1253
00:51:51,780 --> 00:51:54,900
It's important to
understand that fatphobia

1254
00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:56,520
manifests in multiple dimensions,

1255
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,790
that it manifests intrapersonally
how you see yourself,

1256
00:51:59,790 --> 00:52:02,130
interpersonally how other people treat you

1257
00:52:02,130 --> 00:52:03,150
based on your body,

1258
00:52:03,150 --> 00:52:06,180
and institutionally how easily
you can navigate society

1259
00:52:06,180 --> 00:52:07,770
based on your body size.

1260
00:52:07,770 --> 00:52:09,180
So really, right?

1261
00:52:09,180 --> 00:52:13,140
Like we can be impacted on
all three levels potentially,

1262
00:52:13,140 --> 00:52:15,510
but like even a person in a smaller body

1263
00:52:15,510 --> 00:52:18,150
can still have very high
internalized fatphobia,

1264
00:52:18,150 --> 00:52:19,440
very high internalized,

1265
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,600
like very high body
dysmorphia rate, right?

1266
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:25,800
So moving on, not seeing fat
people as failed thin people.

1267
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:30,150
There is not a thin person
inside of me, you know,

1268
00:52:30,150 --> 00:52:32,133
and I'm not like,

1269
00:52:33,909 --> 00:52:37,350
it's not like I sort of
just have the wrong body.

1270
00:52:37,350 --> 00:52:39,780
This is the exact body
that I'm supposed to have,

1271
00:52:39,780 --> 00:52:43,023
this is the exact body
that's right for me.

1272
00:52:44,255 --> 00:52:48,810
And so that was like a very
important realization for me.

1273
00:52:48,810 --> 00:52:51,600
Seeing fatphobia as the
problem that needs to be fixed,

1274
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,340
not fat bodies.

1275
00:52:53,340 --> 00:52:55,860
Not asking or pondering invasive questions

1276
00:52:55,860 --> 00:52:57,870
like, how did you get this way?

1277
00:52:57,870 --> 00:52:59,730
Or, you know, do you have like a,

1278
00:52:59,730 --> 00:53:01,768
some kind of, a lot of, I mean,

1279
00:53:01,768 --> 00:53:03,780
I think I've had people presume that

1280
00:53:03,780 --> 00:53:04,980
when I say I've had a, you know,

1281
00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:05,813
I've had an eating disorder,

1282
00:53:05,813 --> 00:53:06,840
they don't presume anorexia,

1283
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,853
they think I have an overeating problem.

1284
00:53:09,780 --> 00:53:11,910
So like these kinds of questions, right?

1285
00:53:11,910 --> 00:53:13,650
Like this kind of whatever.

1286
00:53:13,650 --> 00:53:14,790
And then kind of moving on,

1287
00:53:14,790 --> 00:53:17,340
creating access for fat
people in the three dimensions

1288
00:53:17,340 --> 00:53:18,360
that I mentioned.

1289
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:22,440
And finally imagining fat, joy,
love thriving and futurity.

1290
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,180
So imagining like, you know,

1291
00:53:24,180 --> 00:53:28,170
and creating possibilities
for fat people in the future,

1292
00:53:28,170 --> 00:53:30,450
I remember like I really had internalized

1293
00:53:30,450 --> 00:53:31,950
and I'm still working through it, right?

1294
00:53:31,950 --> 00:53:33,780
I really had internalized the message

1295
00:53:33,780 --> 00:53:35,700
that I'd been told that fat people,

1296
00:53:35,700 --> 00:53:37,410
there aren't fat people in the future

1297
00:53:37,410 --> 00:53:39,000
because fat people die.

1298
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,980
I really had this belief that I was like,

1299
00:53:40,980 --> 00:53:43,200
there's no way I'm gonna make it to 40.

1300
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,343
There's no way I'm gonna
make it to like 35, right?

1301
00:53:45,343 --> 00:53:48,633
I really have this with,
I'm 41, just so you know.

1302
00:53:49,486 --> 00:53:50,610
And I also, I'm thinking, right?

1303
00:53:50,610 --> 00:53:54,390
I think back I'm like, wow,
like my grandparents all lived.

1304
00:53:54,390 --> 00:53:57,030
I mean really, like at the end of the day

1305
00:53:57,030 --> 00:54:00,990
in general, like in the
spectrum of body size,

1306
00:54:00,990 --> 00:54:03,510
with the exception of
people in sort of like,

1307
00:54:03,510 --> 00:54:08,010
the extreme ends, most
people will live to be

1308
00:54:08,010 --> 00:54:10,650
the life, like, the
regular life is like, 81

1309
00:54:10,650 --> 00:54:11,910
or whatever it is, 85.

1310
00:54:11,910 --> 00:54:13,740
I don't even know what it is right now.

1311
00:54:13,740 --> 00:54:15,840
Most people will. (laughs)

1312
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,310
And so I think like, you know,

1313
00:54:17,310 --> 00:54:20,010
there's this kind of myth
that I really internalize

1314
00:54:20,010 --> 00:54:23,157
that like, I just was
never going to see that.

1315
00:54:23,157 --> 00:54:24,600
And I think it,

1316
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,970
that kind of myth is really
perpetuated in media.

1317
00:54:26,970 --> 00:54:28,457
Like, one of the things I've noticed is,

1318
00:54:28,457 --> 00:54:32,100
when a fat person dies,
it's just like they died.

1319
00:54:32,100 --> 00:54:33,894
It's like there's no,

1320
00:54:33,894 --> 00:54:35,280
there's sort of like a
presumptive, like they were fat,

1321
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:36,150
of course they died.

1322
00:54:36,150 --> 00:54:38,300
Versus like, I mean, I'm like, versus,

1323
00:54:38,300 --> 00:54:41,670
you know, if a 28 year old
dies and they're a thin person,

1324
00:54:41,670 --> 00:54:43,620
there's like a very long explanation

1325
00:54:43,620 --> 00:54:46,290
as to how this, like,
thing happened, right?

1326
00:54:46,290 --> 00:54:48,750
And that kind of subtle bigotry

1327
00:54:48,750 --> 00:54:52,530
and like how fat people's
lives are reported upon,

1328
00:54:52,530 --> 00:54:54,153
it's like very impactful.

1329
00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:58,260
So yeah, I think for me it was
a really powerful exercise.

1330
00:54:58,260 --> 00:54:59,190
I really would.

1331
00:54:59,190 --> 00:55:00,023
I remember, you know,

1332
00:55:00,023 --> 00:55:02,340
when I first started doing
fat activism, I was like,

1333
00:55:02,340 --> 00:55:04,410
I'm gonna sit down and
I'm gonna do a meditation.

1334
00:55:04,410 --> 00:55:08,189
I'm gonna imagine myself
being 30, and being 40,

1335
00:55:08,189 --> 00:55:11,820
and being 50, and being 60, and
being 70, and I'm, you know,

1336
00:55:11,820 --> 00:55:14,850
I'm like dancing and I'm
wearing clothes I love

1337
00:55:14,850 --> 00:55:16,920
and I'm being loved, and I'm in community,

1338
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:18,570
and I'm in this body.

1339
00:55:18,570 --> 00:55:19,800
I'm not in a thin body

1340
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,570
that I'm imagining I'm
gonna have in the future.

1341
00:55:21,570 --> 00:55:25,530
I'm in this body and I'm gonna
have wrinkles in this body,

1342
00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:26,363
and I'm gonna, like,

1343
00:55:26,363 --> 00:55:28,200
my partner is gonna kiss my face

1344
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:32,100
before I go to bed just
like he does when I'm 70,

1345
00:55:32,100 --> 00:55:33,750
just like he does today, you know?

1346
00:55:33,750 --> 00:55:36,900
And so I think like that
was so powerful to do.

1347
00:55:36,900 --> 00:55:39,543
And to do that collectively
is really incredible.

1348
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,500
This is kind of a sort of plea

1349
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:45,690
for anti-diet, food positive principles.

1350
00:55:45,690 --> 00:55:47,160
Because in our culture,

1351
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,020
the way we think about
food is very connected

1352
00:55:49,020 --> 00:55:51,270
to how we think about
bodies and vice versa.

1353
00:55:51,270 --> 00:55:53,370
So to begin with, all food is good food,

1354
00:55:53,370 --> 00:55:55,740
adopting a positive and
non-judgmental attitude

1355
00:55:55,740 --> 00:55:57,210
towards all foods.

1356
00:55:57,210 --> 00:56:00,720
Yes, even food that is labeled
as quote unquote junk food.

1357
00:56:00,720 --> 00:56:01,920
At the end of the day, right?

1358
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,510
Like, this is not to say that,

1359
00:56:03,510 --> 00:56:07,320
there shouldn't be a critique
of a highly corporatized,

1360
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:08,430
like our highly corporatized,

1361
00:56:08,430 --> 00:56:10,950
sort of exploitative food system.

1362
00:56:10,950 --> 00:56:14,250
This is saying that, you know,

1363
00:56:14,250 --> 00:56:16,920
when we have really
intense labels on food,

1364
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:19,230
it tends to lead to
anxiety disordered eating,

1365
00:56:19,230 --> 00:56:21,780
it tends to lead to worse outcomes.

1366
00:56:21,780 --> 00:56:23,010
And I think it's important

1367
00:56:23,010 --> 00:56:24,630
to have a harm reduction approach.

1368
00:56:24,630 --> 00:56:27,060
So accepting that food
restriction is correlated

1369
00:56:27,060 --> 00:56:28,770
with worse health outcomes.

1370
00:56:28,770 --> 00:56:31,410
Healthy eating can
include all kinds of foods

1371
00:56:31,410 --> 00:56:34,020
as well as periods of
making up for history

1372
00:56:34,020 --> 00:56:36,300
of not having eaten enough food.

1373
00:56:36,300 --> 00:56:38,850
Lowering the stakes of
food and eating every bite,

1374
00:56:38,850 --> 00:56:40,920
in fact does not count.

1375
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:43,680
I would say like weight neutral,

1376
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,560
weight neutrality informed nutritionist

1377
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:48,450
would tell you every bite
does not need to count.

1378
00:56:48,450 --> 00:56:51,480
You don't need to like be
obsessing over every single bite.

1379
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,640
Understanding that food is not just fuel,

1380
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,890
but is connected to
emotion, memory, identity,

1381
00:56:55,890 --> 00:56:57,300
comfort, and culture.

1382
00:56:57,300 --> 00:56:59,610
Letting go of categorizing
food into binaries,

1383
00:56:59,610 --> 00:57:00,900
like good, bad, healthy, unhealthy.

1384
00:57:00,900 --> 00:57:01,830
I've already said that.

1385
00:57:01,830 --> 00:57:04,290
Not presuming someone eats a certain way

1386
00:57:04,290 --> 00:57:05,850
based on their body size,

1387
00:57:05,850 --> 00:57:08,970
trust our and other's
appetites and food desires

1388
00:57:08,970 --> 00:57:11,310
and have fun with and enjoy food.

1389
00:57:11,310 --> 00:57:13,620
And that matters.

1390
00:57:13,620 --> 00:57:16,050
Okay, we're gonna move
into lightning round.

1391
00:57:16,050 --> 00:57:17,430
We're gonna talk a little
bit about the history

1392
00:57:17,430 --> 00:57:21,210
of fat activism very quickly. (laughs)

1393
00:57:21,210 --> 00:57:23,340
So one thing that most people don't know

1394
00:57:23,340 --> 00:57:28,340
is that in 1967 there was
a thing called a Fat-In,

1395
00:57:28,350 --> 00:57:30,750
in Central Park where a
bunch of people gathered

1396
00:57:30,750 --> 00:57:32,730
and burned diet books

1397
00:57:32,730 --> 00:57:35,610
and also had signs that said things like,

1398
00:57:35,610 --> 00:57:38,100
fat is all right, fat's cool.

1399
00:57:38,100 --> 00:57:40,560
I wanna say I also read diet books.

1400
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:42,870
This actually kind of didn't
get a lot of coverage,

1401
00:57:42,870 --> 00:57:45,630
but Amazon has now put the
same level of restriction

1402
00:57:45,630 --> 00:57:48,660
on diet books as it does
on books about like cults

1403
00:57:48,660 --> 00:57:51,810
and, like, metaphysical belief systems,

1404
00:57:51,810 --> 00:57:54,510
because they're not
substantiated by research.

1405
00:57:54,510 --> 00:57:56,250
So I just kind of wanna
like, put that out there.

1406
00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:57,540
It's like, hmm.

1407
00:57:57,540 --> 00:57:59,460
So anyway, like, I mean, yeah.

1408
00:57:59,460 --> 00:58:02,190
So the diet book burning is kind of,

1409
00:58:02,190 --> 00:58:05,820
I found very visually
exciting to think about.

1410
00:58:05,820 --> 00:58:09,360
One of the people who
read about the Fat-in

1411
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:10,920
which got coverage in
the "New York Times,"

1412
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:14,130
this is the cutout from
this is the virtual cutout

1413
00:58:14,130 --> 00:58:16,920
of the 1967 article in
the "New York Times."

1414
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,260
One of the people who read
about it got really inspired.

1415
00:58:19,260 --> 00:58:21,780
He started something called
the National Association

1416
00:58:21,780 --> 00:58:24,540
to Advance Fat Acceptance in 1969,

1417
00:58:24,540 --> 00:58:26,847
and wrote a book called "Fat Power,"

1418
00:58:27,750 --> 00:58:29,130
which is basically like, you know,

1419
00:58:29,130 --> 00:58:30,540
whatever you weigh is right.

1420
00:58:30,540 --> 00:58:32,070
Kind of like one of the grandparents

1421
00:58:32,070 --> 00:58:33,187
of one of my books called,

1422
00:58:33,187 --> 00:58:34,937
"You Have the Right to Remain Fat."

1423
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:39,060
Now, so NAAFA,

1424
00:58:39,060 --> 00:58:41,070
the National Association
to Advance Fat Acceptance,

1425
00:58:41,070 --> 00:58:45,240
like I said, emerges in 1969,
very shortly thereafter.

1426
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:47,130
Like you can open a chapter of NAAFA

1427
00:58:47,130 --> 00:58:48,210
anywhere in the country.

1428
00:58:48,210 --> 00:58:52,260
So there's this one chapter,
and they're mostly women.

1429
00:58:52,260 --> 00:58:55,110
A lot of them are queer,
like Jewish feminists, right?

1430
00:58:55,110 --> 00:58:56,640
And they're kind of like a little rowdier

1431
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,050
than the other chapters.

1432
00:58:58,050 --> 00:59:00,030
And they get a letter from NAAFA,

1433
00:59:00,030 --> 00:59:01,620
they're like, NAAFAs like,

1434
00:59:01,620 --> 00:59:03,150
hey, you gotta like chill out.

1435
00:59:03,150 --> 00:59:04,320
Like, we're just trying to get, like,

1436
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:05,640
we don't wanna like threaten these people.

1437
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,350
We don't wanna threaten
Americans with like,

1438
00:59:07,350 --> 00:59:08,880
all this like, other stuff.

1439
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,520
And they're like, well then we
don't wanna be part of NAAFA.

1440
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,800
We're gonna start this thing
called the Fat Underground

1441
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:15,000
and we're gonna adopt like,

1442
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:17,610
basically Black militant politics.

1443
00:59:17,610 --> 00:59:20,760
And so they basically
wrote their own manifesto

1444
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:22,890
called the Fat Liberation Manifesto.

1445
00:59:22,890 --> 00:59:25,500
And again, this is like
where you start to see

1446
00:59:25,500 --> 00:59:29,910
the fat movement become
like much more explicitly,

1447
00:59:29,910 --> 00:59:32,370
first of all, the fat movement fractures,

1448
00:59:32,370 --> 00:59:35,070
which a lot of movement
does, movements do, right?

1449
00:59:35,070 --> 00:59:37,080
So NAAFA is kind of this like acceptance.

1450
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:38,340
We're gonna do a lot of research,

1451
00:59:38,340 --> 00:59:39,780
we're gonna say fat people are healthy

1452
00:59:39,780 --> 00:59:41,520
and we're gonna be kind
of non-threatening.

1453
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:44,640
And then the Fat Underground is like, no,

1454
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:48,960
we believe in militancy
and separatism. (laughs)

1455
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:52,140
And so this is kind of where the offshoot

1456
00:59:52,140 --> 00:59:54,153
of the more queer led,

1457
00:59:54,990 --> 00:59:56,940
more sort of women femme led

1458
00:59:56,940 --> 00:59:59,220
part of the fat movement begins,
which is really exciting.

1459
00:59:59,220 --> 01:00:01,920
Cause that's really, we're on
the trajectory as a culture.

1460
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:03,240
When you look at body positivity

1461
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:07,200
and fat aesthetics online
right now, it's 1000% queer.

1462
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:10,620
It's 1000% derived from
queer feminine fashion

1463
01:00:10,620 --> 01:00:12,480
and aesthetics. (laughs)

1464
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:15,030
And because it comes
from queer high femmes.

1465
01:00:15,030 --> 01:00:18,090
So you've got this like Fat Underground

1466
01:00:18,090 --> 01:00:21,600
and basically they're
like, listen, this is not,

1467
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:24,500
what's the point of fighting
for my right as a fat person

1468
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:27,150
if I can't be a woman,
if I can't be a feminist.

1469
01:00:27,150 --> 01:00:29,160
So I'm getting oppressed for being gay.

1470
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:31,500
Like this movement isn't enough for me.

1471
01:00:31,500 --> 01:00:33,330
And so you see the intersectionality

1472
01:00:33,330 --> 01:00:35,010
kind of emerge very, very quickly

1473
01:00:35,010 --> 01:00:37,230
within the fat activism movement.

1474
01:00:37,230 --> 01:00:40,587
The Fat Liberation
Manifesto emerges in 1973,

1475
01:00:40,587 --> 01:00:42,060
and you can read that online.

1476
01:00:42,060 --> 01:00:43,740
I won't read you the whole thing.

1477
01:00:43,740 --> 01:00:45,120
It's really exciting to read,

1478
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:47,040
but it's sad to read because basically

1479
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:49,923
none of these demands have
been met even to this day.

1480
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:54,120
And they're basically like,
doctors treat us with dignity,

1481
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,070
people treat us with dignity,

1482
01:00:56,070 --> 01:00:58,800
very quickly kind of
thereafter we go into like,

1483
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,620
the sort of the nineties,

1484
01:01:01,620 --> 01:01:04,763
where you start to see the
influence of riot girl,

1485
01:01:04,763 --> 01:01:06,450
zine culture.

1486
01:01:06,450 --> 01:01:08,760
This is kind of the fat activism du jour.

1487
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:11,730
It's highly influenced
by not only queer aesthetics,

1488
01:01:11,730 --> 01:01:13,230
but like sex positive.

1489
01:01:13,230 --> 01:01:14,700
I mean, obviously it's hard to,

1490
01:01:14,700 --> 01:01:18,000
it's difficult to separate queer
aesthetics from sex positivity,

1491
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:19,020
but insofar as you can,

1492
01:01:19,020 --> 01:01:22,770
it has a very kind of a
assertively sexual vibe,

1493
01:01:22,770 --> 01:01:24,690
which is really exciting to see

1494
01:01:24,690 --> 01:01:26,900
because one of the biggest
things that fatphobia does,

1495
01:01:26,900 --> 01:01:30,690
is it says it renders fat
people as like asexual,

1496
01:01:30,690 --> 01:01:33,390
or gluttonous or
basically we're not agents

1497
01:01:33,390 --> 01:01:34,800
of our own sexuality.

1498
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,930
And so I love kind of
seeing Fat Girl zine,

1499
01:01:36,930 --> 01:01:39,510
which is all about like being slut

1500
01:01:39,510 --> 01:01:41,850
and like writing smut
and being in a bathtub,

1501
01:01:41,850 --> 01:01:44,700
being worshiped, and being fed cake,

1502
01:01:44,700 --> 01:01:48,240
and like having a bunch
of partners. So exciting.

1503
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,600
So yeah. So anyway, like,
and you can see even here,

1504
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,160
this is like from the nineties, right?

1505
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:54,390
Fat and healthy.

1506
01:01:54,390 --> 01:01:56,550
They're talking about these conversations

1507
01:01:56,550 --> 01:01:58,470
that we're still having right now,

1508
01:01:58,470 --> 01:02:00,930
very pressy and also like very, I dunno,

1509
01:02:00,930 --> 01:02:03,210
very real, very exciting to see.

1510
01:02:03,210 --> 01:02:05,700
And then kind of like, I'm
gonna, this is the last slide,

1511
01:02:05,700 --> 01:02:07,260
but I have a little more to say,

1512
01:02:07,260 --> 01:02:08,100
thank you for,

1513
01:02:08,100 --> 01:02:09,930
I know we're going over if you have to go,

1514
01:02:09,930 --> 01:02:14,070
but this is kind of like the fat activist,

1515
01:02:14,070 --> 01:02:17,250
fat positive community that I'm a part of.

1516
01:02:17,250 --> 01:02:19,230
And these are some of my friends

1517
01:02:19,230 --> 01:02:20,460
and people I hang out with,

1518
01:02:20,460 --> 01:02:22,680
and work with, and do life with,

1519
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:26,280
and hang out in swimming pools
with, and eat ice cream with.

1520
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:29,190
And you know, I really kind
of think about, you know,

1521
01:02:29,190 --> 01:02:32,640
like, what does fat activism teach us

1522
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:35,130
about how to deal with fatphobia?

1523
01:02:35,130 --> 01:02:36,300
And I think like, as, you know,

1524
01:02:36,300 --> 01:02:39,900
as like folks in college potentially,

1525
01:02:39,900 --> 01:02:43,500
I know not everyone here is
a student here, but, right?

1526
01:02:43,500 --> 01:02:46,410
You're being introduced to
this political ideology.

1527
01:02:46,410 --> 01:02:48,810
It's very, very upsetting
to hear a lot of the stuff

1528
01:02:48,810 --> 01:02:49,953
that I just shared.

1529
01:02:50,940 --> 01:02:53,730
And it brings up a sense of rage.

1530
01:02:53,730 --> 01:02:56,070
It brings up a sense of
anger and a sense of grief.

1531
01:02:56,070 --> 01:02:58,710
And all of those things are
really, really important.

1532
01:02:58,710 --> 01:03:02,033
And I kind of wanna sort
of say like, you know,

1533
01:03:02,033 --> 01:03:04,320
things that I've done briefly

1534
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:06,240
to kind of deal with that rage

1535
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:08,730
and that sense of kind of
like, this is so wrong.

1536
01:03:08,730 --> 01:03:10,530
What happened to me is so wrong.

1537
01:03:10,530 --> 01:03:14,550
The very first thing that I
did was try and find community

1538
01:03:14,550 --> 01:03:16,440
of people who could affirm
what I went through,

1539
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:18,090
who went through what I went through,

1540
01:03:18,090 --> 01:03:21,870
and who could collectivize tools with me.

1541
01:03:21,870 --> 01:03:24,510
Things like how do you alter
a garment to make it fit?

1542
01:03:24,510 --> 01:03:25,560
I mean, this was before like,

1543
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,360
the plus size revolution, really.

1544
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:28,860
But how do you, one of the things,

1545
01:03:28,860 --> 01:03:30,480
first things I learned
from another fat person

1546
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:33,600
was how do you alter a garment
that's not made for you?

1547
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,918
How do you like literally deconstruct it

1548
01:03:35,918 --> 01:03:37,500
and then resew it up together,

1549
01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:39,993
so that it looks like
something that you like,

1550
01:03:39,993 --> 01:03:41,370
that looks good on you.

1551
01:03:41,370 --> 01:03:43,727
How do you learn to love and
compliment other fat people?

1552
01:03:43,727 --> 01:03:46,860
How do you learn to see
other fat people as desirable

1553
01:03:46,860 --> 01:03:48,450
when you spent your whole life being told

1554
01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,330
that people who look like
you are not desirable?

1555
01:03:51,330 --> 01:03:55,020
So like, having that community
of like-minded people,

1556
01:03:55,020 --> 01:03:56,400
and it doesn't really, right?

1557
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,950
I don't think that it's
like size dependent,

1558
01:03:58,950 --> 01:04:00,660
but I think that if
you're in a larger body,

1559
01:04:00,660 --> 01:04:01,830
certainly for me,

1560
01:04:01,830 --> 01:04:04,050
having other friends in larger bodies

1561
01:04:04,050 --> 01:04:05,280
really, really mattered

1562
01:04:05,280 --> 01:04:08,070
and was a really, really big
part of like, working through

1563
01:04:08,070 --> 01:04:09,060
all of the feelings,

1564
01:04:09,060 --> 01:04:11,160
whether it was joy or rage,

1565
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:14,070
or grief for all of those things, right?

1566
01:04:14,070 --> 01:04:16,860
And I kind of wanna say
another really big way

1567
01:04:16,860 --> 01:04:19,320
for me to work through it,
and for us to work through it

1568
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:21,420
has been through our activism.

1569
01:04:21,420 --> 01:04:24,630
Whether it's putting together
like a fat clothing swap,

1570
01:04:24,630 --> 01:04:27,480
or it's going to like a conference,

1571
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,000
or that's all about talking
about how, you know,

1572
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,660
basically children who are
nine and over a certain weight

1573
01:04:33,660 --> 01:04:35,400
should have weight loss surgery

1574
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:39,420
and like going in there
and just being fat at them.

1575
01:04:39,420 --> 01:04:40,800
You know, and there's kind of, right?

1576
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:44,490
Like, I think like there's
all of these fantastic ways

1577
01:04:44,490 --> 01:04:46,590
and I think certainly the
last thing I was gonna say

1578
01:04:46,590 --> 01:04:48,000
in terms of a tool,

1579
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,880
for me it was like setting boundaries.

1580
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:52,593
Who gets to be around me?

1581
01:04:53,460 --> 01:04:54,570
Who am I dating?

1582
01:04:54,570 --> 01:04:56,940
Who am I looking at as potential people?

1583
01:04:56,940 --> 01:04:59,130
A big one for me, like a big,

1584
01:04:59,130 --> 01:05:01,290
this became like a friend
rule and a dating rule, right?

1585
01:05:01,290 --> 01:05:03,960
Like, I deserve to be
protected from fatphobia.

1586
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:06,810
So A, I'm not dating people
who talk about my body,

1587
01:05:06,810 --> 01:05:07,770
or other people's bodies,

1588
01:05:07,770 --> 01:05:09,900
or how I eat, or how other people eat.

1589
01:05:09,900 --> 01:05:11,940
Like if someone talks about literally,

1590
01:05:11,940 --> 01:05:13,380
like, if you are dating someone

1591
01:05:13,380 --> 01:05:15,060
who talks how other people look,

1592
01:05:15,060 --> 01:05:17,430
I would not be dating
them anymore. (laughs)

1593
01:05:17,430 --> 01:05:19,845
Frankly, I'm sorry,
that's a strong statement,

1594
01:05:19,845 --> 01:05:24,090
but like, I think like striving
to be in a relationship,

1595
01:05:24,090 --> 01:05:25,920
whether it's romantic or otherwise,

1596
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:29,070
with folks who are not putting
toxicity into the world,

1597
01:05:29,070 --> 01:05:30,900
is really important.

1598
01:05:30,900 --> 01:05:32,430
And I think also, right,

1599
01:05:32,430 --> 01:05:36,510
like a big moment for
me around my boundaries

1600
01:05:36,510 --> 01:05:40,530
really came around recognizing, like,

1601
01:05:40,530 --> 01:05:42,240
I think for a long time when people

1602
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,250
would sort of spew fatphobia at me,

1603
01:05:44,250 --> 01:05:46,590
whether it was overtly fatphobic,

1604
01:05:46,590 --> 01:05:48,960
or them talking about what, you know,

1605
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,570
they're disparaging to
fat people or whatever,

1606
01:05:51,570 --> 01:05:53,790
disparaging to gaining weight or whatever.

1607
01:05:53,790 --> 01:05:57,060
I used to get really activated by that.

1608
01:05:57,060 --> 01:05:59,730
And there was a point at which like,

1609
01:05:59,730 --> 01:06:04,320
I was like, oh, you are triggered

1610
01:06:04,320 --> 01:06:05,610
and you don't know you're triggered,

1611
01:06:05,610 --> 01:06:07,050
and you don't know how to deal with it.

1612
01:06:07,050 --> 01:06:08,640
And I have dealt with the trauma.

1613
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:10,710
I'm working through the trauma responsibly

1614
01:06:10,710 --> 01:06:12,180
that you haven't dealt with,

1615
01:06:12,180 --> 01:06:14,300
and I need to protect myself from you.

1616
01:06:14,300 --> 01:06:16,830
In the same way that if
someone were super triggered

1617
01:06:16,830 --> 01:06:18,390
and had no idea they were triggered,

1618
01:06:18,390 --> 01:06:20,190
and they were activated
and they were like doing,

1619
01:06:20,190 --> 01:06:22,470
they were flailing and flailing,

1620
01:06:22,470 --> 01:06:25,440
it's not my job to get
you out of the water.

1621
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:26,520
It's my job, right?

1622
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:27,840
To be like, this is what's happening.

1623
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:29,250
This is what my
responsibility is and this,

1624
01:06:29,250 --> 01:06:32,220
I need to sort of
protect myself from this.

1625
01:06:32,220 --> 01:06:36,000
So I think that when,
like, when specifically,

1626
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,280
I remember I used to hear
when people would talk about

1627
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:40,560
going on diets, it used
to set me off like,

1628
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:43,003
maybe I need to go, even though
I was deep in fat activism,

1629
01:06:43,003 --> 01:06:45,840
I was like, oh, maybe I need
to, maybe after all this.

1630
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:48,990
And again, hitting a
point where I was like,

1631
01:06:48,990 --> 01:06:51,750
oh, diets are what you do

1632
01:06:51,750 --> 01:06:54,210
when you're triggered from the trauma

1633
01:06:54,210 --> 01:06:57,780
of being taught that fatness is horrible.

1634
01:06:57,780 --> 01:06:59,550
Like, you don't know what to do with that

1635
01:06:59,550 --> 01:07:02,520
because our culture has
just not given us any tools.

1636
01:07:02,520 --> 01:07:06,330
And your way of dealing with
it is by not eating food.

1637
01:07:06,330 --> 01:07:10,230
And my way of dealing with
it is fighting the system.

1638
01:07:10,230 --> 01:07:11,730
And so I think like, you know,

1639
01:07:11,730 --> 01:07:13,470
I mean just kind of really situating,

1640
01:07:13,470 --> 01:07:17,010
I'm like really situating
where is my power?

1641
01:07:17,010 --> 01:07:19,470
Where is my sort of like, locus of power?

1642
01:07:19,470 --> 01:07:24,000
Who is set off and like, who can I, like,

1643
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:24,900
who is my friend,

1644
01:07:24,900 --> 01:07:26,700
I'm invested enough
that I wanna help them?

1645
01:07:26,700 --> 01:07:29,160
And who are the people in like
farther out where I'm like,

1646
01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:30,300
I can't even touch that.

1647
01:07:30,300 --> 01:07:31,920
Like, I can't even
touch that because like,

1648
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:33,820
you're not someone in my inner circle.

1649
01:07:34,740 --> 01:07:39,740
That was a lot of information
(laughs) we went over.

1650
01:07:39,780 --> 01:07:41,460
I'm just so grateful to have been here.

1651
01:07:41,460 --> 01:07:44,490
I like, I know I shared like
literally every single piece

1652
01:07:44,490 --> 01:07:46,140
of data I've ever seen

1653
01:07:46,140 --> 01:07:47,940
and also every tool I've ever developed.

1654
01:07:47,940 --> 01:07:49,890
So I appreciate you listening.

1655
01:07:49,890 --> 01:07:52,356
Can I do a quick selfie?

1656
01:07:52,356 --> 01:07:54,930
-(audience cheering)
-Yay. Yay. (laughs)

1657
01:07:54,930 --> 01:07:55,893
Thank you.

1658
01:07:56,974 --> 01:08:00,141
(audience applauding)

1659
01:08:01,260 --> 01:08:03,570
Okay. Yay.

1660
01:08:03,570 --> 01:08:05,850
I'm gonna do one like this.

1661
01:08:05,850 --> 01:08:08,793
I'm gonna do like four, so
hold whatever you're doing.

1662
01:08:09,630 --> 01:08:10,980
Wait, it's on a timer.

1663
01:08:10,980 --> 01:08:12,542
Hold on, hold on.

1664
01:08:12,542 --> 01:08:14,743
Okay. Okay, ready? (laughs)

1665
01:08:15,925 --> 01:08:16,758
Here we go. Here we go.

1666
01:08:16,758 --> 01:08:18,420
Okay. Hold it. Hold it.

1667
01:08:18,420 --> 01:08:20,950
Oh my god, it's happening.

1668
01:08:20,950 --> 01:08:21,783
(audience laughing)

1669
01:08:21,783 --> 01:08:22,616
Okay.

1670
01:08:24,690 --> 01:08:25,950
Yes.

1671
01:08:25,950 --> 01:08:27,390
Okay. (laughs)

1672
01:08:27,390 --> 01:08:28,223
Thank you guys.

1673
01:08:29,238 --> 01:08:32,220
(audience applauding)

1674
01:08:32,220 --> 01:08:33,783
Yay.

1675
01:08:40,590 --> 01:08:42,553
Wow. (laughs)

1676
01:08:43,831 --> 01:08:45,581
Thank you. Thank you.

1677
01:08:47,705 --> 01:08:52,305
Thank you. (laughs)