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That's great. Yeah.

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Well, I know you have a chapter also

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on creating legacy projects,

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and that's something that
I'm really interested in,

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and I really enjoyed
reading that in the book,

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and I think it's something
so valuable that we can offer

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to people who are dying
that we're working with,

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so, would you talk to us a little bit more

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about legacy projects?

10
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Sure. Well, I love doing
legacy projects too.

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I find that it's a very
creative part of doula work

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and caregiving, to be
able to have somebody lean

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into their legacy in a way
that's meaningful to them.

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Now, legacy work isn't for everybody.

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Some people really wanna focus on doing

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some healing with broken relationships,

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or maybe they wanna do some
spiritual healing first,

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and so, you have to figure
out if it's for every client.

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But once you get a client
that's excited about legacy,

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I tend to get very excited about it too

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because there's just so much there,

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there's so many opportunities,

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and so, you know, to me
legacy projects are a win-win

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because it's good for the client to be

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contemplating their life and their legacy,

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and you know, what their
life has been all about,

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and what matters to them
in terms of their passions,

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and things like that 'cause
they're often wrapped up

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in the legacy project,

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but it's also a benefit
for family members who are

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left behind, or loved ones
who might learn something

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or have a memento of their
loved ones after they die,

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but the main reason I think
legacy projects are important is

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because people don't want to be forgotten,

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and so, how do you help people

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to have their legacies, their stories,

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you know, the fact that they
were here living on the planet,

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matter and become a
memory for others after.

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So to me, it's part about,
it's partially about the life

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they've lived. You know,
everybody's gonna leave a legacy

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whether they choose to or not,

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so there's the internal legacy,

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but the projects are usually tangible

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that I do with my clients.

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They're usually something
that represents the person.

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So, as I'm talking to my
client, I'm always listening

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for things that might apply
to their legacy for a project.

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Are they a gardener? Are they a cook?

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Did they like to travel?

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Did they write things down in
a journal their whole life?

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Are they artistic? You
know, are they into math?

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Do they have a book collection?

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You know, I'm paying
attention to things that might

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come out down the road as
a possible legacy project

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as a hobby or a passion,

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or something that they used
to bring joy to their lives.

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So, usually these unique type
of legacy projects percolate

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over time as clients, you know,
begin to share their story,

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but if not, there's several
kind of tried and true

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legacy projects I like to suggest,

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and I'm happy to share a few with you

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if you wanna know what
I do with my clients.

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Yeah, please do, and I love this.

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I love, this is one of the greatest things

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that death doulas offer
to their patients that,

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at least when I was in hospice,

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no one ever really had time
to sit down with a patient,

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and do this type of a legacy project,

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and it's just so important
because as you said

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one of our greatest fears is that

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no one will remember us when we're gone,

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and so it's so valuable, so yes,

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please share some ideas with us.

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Okay, I'll share a couple.

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I know there's some in the
workbook, and in the book

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there's so many different
ones, and you can even find one

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and then modify it to meet
the needs of your client,

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or your person that you're
working with, or for yourself

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even if you're going to do one,

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but a couple of my favorite ones are,

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I like to go around the house
and use what's already there,

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because to me, a lot of times clients

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aren't going out anymore.
By the time we get to them,

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a lot of times they're not,
they don't have the energy

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or they're not leaving their home,

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and I think it's really
appropriate in legacy work

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to use what already exists,

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because that's part of their legacy.

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It's already there.

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So, one of the things I like to do is

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to go around the house with
a client and gather gifts.

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Items that are meaningful that to them,

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that they might think are
meaningful to someone else.

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So we'll go gather, you know,

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recently the client I did it with,

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we gathered ballet slippers.

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We gathered a scarf and hat,
we gathered a calligraphy bit

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that she had drawn, she loved calligraphy.

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Another one was a few
postcards from a trip,

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of a certain place that she
shared with someone else,

101
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and so we end up with
a collection of items

102
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that she wants to give to
each person who she loves,

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and then I bring the next time,
and sometimes this takes two

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or three visits to
collect all these items,

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and then one time I'll come
with wrapping paper and ribbon,

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and we'll talk, this
is part of life review,

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this is how legacy becomes life review,

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because as we're wrapping
the gifts, we're talking.

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We're talking about the
relationship with that person.

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We're talking about how that
person's gonna remember them.

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We're writing a card after
we wrap it to that person,

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and the client might write
it if they can still write,

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or they'll dictate it to me,

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and I'll write it, and
we save these gifts,

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and some clients might like to save them

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for a holiday celebration,

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but a lot of times clients
will say, "After I die,

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I want you to pass these
gifts out to my loved ones."

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You know, and the same
sometimes I'll do with a letter

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that they wanna read at the memorial,

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or they want me to read to
the family after they die,

122
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and another one that I did
that I really enjoyed was

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this person had a book
collection, but it was,

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they had moved into a
smaller living facility

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so it wasn't packed
with thousands of books,

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it was just maybe 80 books or so,

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but their favorite books
of their entire life.

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So, we went through the books,
and we picked out a book

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for each person for them to leave,

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and then they went in the
book and they wrote a note

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to the person they wanted
to leave that book to,

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and then I had them all, you know, listed,

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so after the person died, I
was able to tell the family

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as they go through the
the book collection,

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that there was one in
there for each person,

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and that was really beautiful and special,

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and that person's bookshelf
happened to of been sitting

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right next to the chair
that they sat in for years.

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So every time they had visitors,

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the bookshelf was right behind them,

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and it was a meaningful
part of that person's life.

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So, it was a great legacy
project, and you can do that

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with recipes, putting
together recipes books.

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You can do that with
gardens and, you know,

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giving plants or giving
cuttings from succulents,

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and so you get to know the
people that you're working with,

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and you find legacy projects,

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but there's also ones
that you can look for

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because most people have books,
and most people have recipes

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or some kind of, something
that they like cooking

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on a regular basis that you can
put together for the family,

152
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and if not, you can
always ask if your client

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wants to write a letter,
or leave birthday cards

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for the following year
for people in their lives,

155
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and that's a very meaningful
legacy project as well.

156
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Mm hm. That's really beautiful,

157
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and I just admire the creativity
you have in the moment

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because obviously it's
something that happens

159
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differently for every person.

160
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You just go in the house,
and you kind of figure it out

161
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:07,800
with them, how you can
help them leave a legacy,

162
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and that's really wonderful.

163
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Thank you. I really enjoy it.

164
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It's actually, it covers so many bases

165
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about digging into the hard conversations,

166
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and the heart work, you know,
it's just joyful work to me.

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I've seen it many times, many people

168
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who want to leave something as a legacy

169
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but have no idea where to begin,

170
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and they really do need some
help, just some suggestions

171
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and ideas, and another person
to help them make that happen,

172
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and so that's really wonderful.

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I love all those ideas,
especially the books,

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'cause I love books so
much that how cherished

175
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would that be to receive
a book from someone

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with a special note written
inside as a keepsake.

177
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Yeah, I do that more and more

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because it was so meaningful,
and every time I've done

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something like that, where
there's somebody had written

180
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a handwritten, you know,

181
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:03,630
there's a handwritten note, if they can,

182
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that's just such a beautiful thing.

183
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,280
Yeah, that's lovely, and these days

184
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so many of us have
books sitting on shelves

185
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:13,830
that we aren't sure what to
do with anyway, (chuckles)

186
00:09:13,830 --> 00:09:16,110
and I mean that's even
a legacy project people

187
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:20,280
could start working on
at any time, you know,

188
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thinking about, wow, someday

189
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who would I like to give this book to,

190
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,460
and could start going
through their library

191
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and thinking about that.

192
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Yeah, it's true.