- Through these...
I'm gonna go through this briefly.
And what I would love for you to do is open up your chat.
And when you hear something that you think, yes,
I've seen an example of that in my students.
I would love for you to write that in the chat.
And you could either write, you know, I've seen empathy,
or you could write, a snippet of a way
in which you saw that.
So Kylene Beers would say that this generation of kids
is more empathic and compassionate.
They have practiced and are more aware of the fact
that when they see somebody in their community behaving
in a certain way or responding in a certain way,
they're actually more aware than they were prior
to this experience, that that person is likely facing
some kind of stress.
There's, I don't know everything about the story
of everyone in my community.
Our students are more patient.
They have practiced being bored.
And I would have talked to you before the pandemic
about how worried I am that this generation of kids
is never bored.
I was worried that we filled every nook and cranny,
where they might have had a wait a minute
or delay gratification or not be entertained,
that we were filling all those nooks and crannies
with technology, as opposed to just allowing boredom
to turn into innovation and creativity and all
of the brilliance that happens.
To grow a healthy brain, you need to be bored.
And so, unfortunately, unfortunately our kids have
had no choice, but to practice being bored.
Unfortunately we have all practiced grieving.
Every single one of us have had small and medium losses,
and many, many of us have had big losses.
And so we've learned lessons about how to grieve well,
and frankly, I think in our culture, we could use some work
on grieving well.
We've, you know, one of the things I've noticed
is that we've really, I think in a whole deeper way,
understood that grief is not a place for competition.
We don't need to look at a group of people
and decide whose grief is worse and give
our validation support and compassion to that.
Everyone's loss is their own and is worthy
of support, validation, and connection.
Our students have very likely had to really think about
things that they might've taken for granted before.
They're appreciative of things that they just assumed
would be there.
And that has maybe shifted their perspective
and reset their priorities in a way
that we might argue would be a little bit healthier.
We have had no choice, but to sit with powerful emotion,
we couldn't as adults swoop in and remove the problem
as a way to remove distress and help our kids feel better.
Many, many times parents and people who work in schools
had no choice, but to just sit with powerful emotion,
practice, putting words to it, validating it,
supporting it and teaching how to cope with it
because we couldn't change the circumstance.
That is actually how we build powerfully
strong resilient people.
So tons of practice has just happened in that regard.
We've asked our students even preschool and kindergartners
all the way up through to be citizens,
to be global citizens.
We've asked them to do things because they benefited
other people, not just themselves, such as mask wearing.
And finally, we on a deeper and more complete level
than maybe we were before.
We have challenged all of our students and ourselves
to really listen to each other,
to ask hard questions and challenge inequity,
regardless of whether it impacted us directly.
So, I'm just gonna pause for a minute and let you
kind of absorb that list.
I see people are already writing.
Think about examples that you've seen and add them
to the chat.
Fantastic examples.
So, in just taking a brief look at it, it's a powerful list.
Keep writing don't let me stop you.
Read what others are writing.
I've done this exercise now
in various professional development faculty meetings,
different opportunities that I've had
with schools in Vermont.
And I estimated that I've done this with probably about five
to 600 people who work in Vermont schools at this point.
And every single time in the past, this has just been
the past three months.
I get lists and lists and lists.
So, we in Vermont have clearly taken Kyleen's work
and reinforced that this is true in our students.
And so when you say that our kids, the kids of Vermont
are behind and need to catch up,
I absolutely respectfully disagree.
I can't wait in fact to see what this generation
of kids does.
They're gonna be remarkable.
So, in thinking about that, if we're not catching up,
if we're challenging that narrative.
So remember when you hear a narrative,
whether it's a community narrative or a narrative
that a specific person is forming, or that you yourself hear
you say something you're listening for is this resilient
in those four characteristics.
And if it's not, then you ask questions,
shift what you're paying attention
to see if you might crack the foundation in
a non resilient narrative and shifted a little bit.
If it is resilient, then you ask questions
and pay attention in ways that reinforce it.
So, what we're gonna do is we move into this summer,
and next year's we're going to collectively
as a group powerfully challenge the narrative,
and we're going to invite our students,
our kids to take ownership over their story and say,
no, thank you to, "we need to catch up, we're behind".
So in doing that, it's important though,
to not sugar coat this.
It's important to think about as we move forward
with wisdom and compassion, what are we to do?
So there's a beautiful article that has this quote,
the concepts of healing and recovery can be misleading
as they imply that all traces
of the adversity will disappear.
Integration allows one to honor the experience of adversity
and incorporate it into one's life story,
identity and experience.
So basically, what I'm hoping we'll do
is remember that we as the adults who work
in our school communities, we are strong enough
and capable of holding competing truths.
So competing truths, for example, one competing truth
that I'm currently holding as the mom
of two teenage daughters, and as a professional psychologist
who works with many, many, many teenagers,
the competing truths that I'm holding are,
I am deeply worried about how this situation
has impacted them.
I am going to work incredibly hard next school year
to listen to every person's story
that I can get my hands on, validate that impact
and think about action planning towards supporting
them to move forward in an integrated way.
I simultaneously to being deeply worried about impact.
I am also incredibly hopeful and inspired and cannot wait
to see what they do as adults,
because I simultaneously believe that they are going
to be remarkable people because of this.
So it's not one or the other, it's really both.
So you could think about, as you move into next school year,
what are some examples of how you might do that?
And so one of the things that we know is that
when we are in a situation of prolonged uncertainty,
if we are in a situation where we have been feeling fearful,
a student said to me this year, when I said,
"How are you feeling?"
He thought for a little bit, and he said,
"Bored and scared".
Bored, and scared, you don't wanna feel those two things
at the same time.
That's really hard.
And it was so wise.
I was like, yes, I actually important, scared too.
That's really hard.
So he's putting words to this kind of frozen passive stance
that you inevitably might take when you are
in a situation where things keep changing
and there's an ambiguous threat.
So, we wanna move toward reclaiming our story
and integrating this.
And part of that is empowering the voices of our students.
The four-year-olds, the three-year-olds all the way up
to the 18, 19-year olds and everything in between.
So, some of the things that you might do
is ask your students to talk, think,
and write about what does belonging mean to you now?
What does it mean to belong?
What is your experience of living through COVID informed
you about what it truly means to make sure
that every member of this classroom
and this school community feels as though they belong.
We could ask them to talk, right and think
about what have they discovered
about themselves as a learner?
They've clearly, I'm sure learned some things
about the way in which they learn best,
and then we should actively take what they articulate
and have that influence the way in which we teach
that specific group of students and that student.
We should invite students to have voice
and influence over multiple paths
for participation and engagement.
We have had to be incredibly flexible and creative
about how we could offer opportunity to participate
and engage in learning.
We can bring all of that back into a classroom.
What are the 10 ways that you could show me
that you're participating and that you're engaged.
And speaking is only one.
So, what are all the other ways,
and make sure that we're inviting those voices in.
The basic foundation of this is meeting students
where they are, which is of course a foundational element
of MTSS and PBIS.
So, that's thinking about the community narrative
and thinking about our students' narrative.
But first this summer, I would invite you, welcome you
to think first about your story.
Because we always do best when we apply these concepts first
to ourselves, and then to our immediate realm,
our immediate family, immediate circle,
and then to our professional circle
and our larger community.
So, let's first think about how might you tend
to your own story.
So, this summer, maybe ask yourself,
what is the meaning that I am making of this experience?
What did I, I just thought about
this incredible brainstorm list
of what our students learned this year,
what did I learn?
And think about really consolidating that
and appreciating that.
So I would offer, as an example, when I ask myself,
what is my story?
What is the meaning that I'm making?
I can give you my example, which might be very similar
to some of you and super different to others, if you will.
Each gonna have her own story.
So, my story is that I'm a good kind of tired.
It's Thursday.
I'm about to have a vacation for the first time in 16 months
of incredible work.
And I feel like this, I feel like I did when I was a kid,
growing up on a sheep farm.
And when you grow up on a farm, there are a handful
of days every year where you do incredibly big tasks
as a group.
And so one of those was when we would hay the field.
This was a bunch of years ago on a really small farm.
So we had like the square hay bales that shot out
of the hay baler around the field, and we had to run around
and pick them up and throw them on the wagon and stack them.
And then we had to by hand unload all the hay bales
into the barn.
So at the end of those days, I would be standing outside
of the barn, having just completed along with my family,
this big haying the field day.
And on my farm, the barn was at the bottom of a hill
and a very steep hill, the house was at the top.
So, I have a very visual and sensory and kind
of full complete body memory of standing
at the bottom of the hill, looking up at the house,
wanting to be in the house in the shower.
So, all I wanted to do was figure out how
to find the energy, to crawl up the hill
and get to the house.
But I remember standing there and usually I needed a minute
to kind of find the energy to climb up the hill.
And while I stood there, I remember feeling exhausted,
a bit beat up, cut and bruised.
I remember feeling incredibly proud
of what we had just accomplished.
I remember feeling this sense of strong connection
to my family 'cause we did it before.
Even though it was really hard, we actually would laugh
and have a lot of fun at different times.
And so I remember feeling sort of joyful, tired, beat up.
I also remember feeling a little bit of resentment
that my parents didn't get more people to help us.
So, I just was like, you know, a mixture of emotion
and then I would start the climb up the hill.
So this feeling I have right now is very familiar
to me from those kinds of good kind of tired moments.
You might say yes, do I connect with that.
You might also say it's not actually a good kind of tired
at all, and that's okay.
Whatever your story is, is your story.
And that's what you're kind of starting to put words to
and think about what is the meaning I'm making,
and over time, can I think about reinforcing
and moving it toward that resilient narrative?
So, a really important part of moving into the summer
and then moving into next school year
is gonna be thinking about pace and curiosity.
So, there's a beautiful book, "My Grandmother's Hands"
written by a trauma therapist.
And one of the quotes in the book is,
"Healing from adversity includes shifting
"from speed and reflexivity to a slower pace and curiosity."
So, when you are responding to adversity,
everyone no doubt in this meeting right now
has for the last 16 months risen to the occasion.
You have clearly stepped up, worked hard
than at a strong pace to meet the demands.
And so when you do that, you're probably going
in many cases fast and you're reacting, reacting, reacting.
You won't shift likely 'cause you've been doing that
for so long in a pretty admirable way.
You won't likely shift unless you do so intentionally.
So what are the ways?
I would ask you, what are the ways over the next few weeks
that you are going to slow down and shift
from reaction to response, from reaction to curiosity?
And that pacing is not only gonna be essential for you
and your wellbeing, you deserve to be well in these jobs
all the way through next year, not just this summer.
And that pacing is gonna be essential
to the wellbeing of the young people that you're gonna work
with next year.
So, you're likely really good at reading a room of people
because you work in a helping profession.
I would strongly, strongly encourage you next year,
if you remember, only one thing that I say,
please remember this.
Set the pace based on the needs
of the humans in front of you.
Cornelius said, "People first, policy second".
It's brave, I get it, it's brave.
I'm not a teacher, but I work with teachers.
I spend most of my time with all of you.
I know that it is brave for you to say curriculum timelines
aside for a moment, I'm gonna spend more time just talking
with this group of people, because I can tell that
that's what we need.
We're gonna play a little bit more.
We're gonna laugh a little bit more.
We're gonna learn a little bit more because
that's what this group of people needs right now.
We will accomplish the most.
If we pace each and every day, based on the needs
of the human in front of you.
In order for you to be able to do that first this summer,
it will be really important for you to shift gears.
And intentionally think about, I don't know what gear
your summer needs, and I don't know what gear
you wanna be in.
That's not mine to say.
My own only request is that whatever gear you're in,
it's intentional, intentionally set that pace.
So part of how you do that is when you have moments.
And some of you will have very busy summers.
So I recognize that.
But when you have moments where it's five minutes
or five hours where there is not demand on you,
take space from input, allow yourself that space,
where you're not having,
you're not welcoming information and input.
And you're just kind of sitting in that space
to think about the meaning that you're making
and think about the pace that you're going
and where you want that to be at.
There's a lot of attention, rightly so to mindfulness.
It's one of the most powerful and health promoting things
that we can do for ourselves and others,
and mindfulness is awareness that arises
with paying attention on purpose
in the present moment, non-judgmentally.
So, you might do something like meditation,
where you turn inward and that's mindful.
You also might find that when you turn inward,
it's quite dysregulating, because what's going on
in there is really a lot of worry and turmoil and stress.
And so you might find actually what you need
is mindlessness.
If you wanna read more about that,
there's some information linked in the article here.
Mindlessness is intentionally distracting yourself
in something that's healthy, cooking, gardening, exercising,
something that gives you cognitive distraction,
pulls you outside of your mind.
So you might need mindfulness.
You might need mindlessness,
you'll probably need some combination of both.
And you wanna practice anchoring yourself,
at a pace that you set, despite
what's going on around you.
Maybe go to Costco on a rainy Saturday and see
if you can't shop slowly, even though everyone
is running around around you.
Practice intentionally setting that pace and holding to it
because you're gonna need that next year, if we're all going
to slow down and go at a pace based on the needs
of the humans in front of us.
So, I want to have us think about one more thing
before I wrap up.
And so I want you to think about and write in the chat,
could you think of a metaphor
for what your current pace is right now?
In my example is a horse that's hurdling through,
you know, like a ring.
Could you think of a metaphor for a pace that would help
you be well, and then sync with your goals this summer?
The metaphor I have is a sloth.
That's what I would like to be this summer.
I would like to go from the horse, that's leaping her left
to hurdle to a sloth.
You might not want to be a sloth at all, no problem.
Could you think of a metaphor for the pace that would help
you be well and then sync with your goals as you move
into next year?
So, if you could write those in the chat,
that would be awesome.
We'll just spend a minutes looking
at what people's metaphors are and then we'll wrap up.
Ooh, a gentle rain shower.
Oh wow.
An 18 wheeler trying to gear down, but traveling downhill.
That is powerful.
Lazy river.
Oh, we're deep under ground.
I love it.
Well incredible.
Absolutely.
What an incredible, I mean, no surprise that this group
of people is incredibly visual and creative.
These are amazing.
A babe late.
I love it, Phillip.
Oh, amenity.
That's awesome.
Keep going, don't let me stop you.
The idea of creating these metaphors and you could do this
with your students in the fall as well as,
kids of any age it's really think about
the metaphor because the visual metaphor is grounding.
If you've decided like I wanna be a tortoise this summer,
and then it's like July 13th, then you're running around,
the house you could be like, wait,
is this tortoise?
Am I tortoise right now?
So think about that metaphor.
Think about that visual and have that be sort of
an anchoring grounding force for you as you move.
And you're gonna have to go through some transition
I would predict from where you're at now
to where you wanna be the summer
to where you wanna be next fall.
I wanna say this again, it is possible for you
to do this work and be well, and you deserve to be well.
When we think about community resilience, remember
the definition of resilience in part is that it is
the responsibility of the community to make sure
that every individual of that community is resilient.
It is not an individual responsibility.
So, we want you to think about how you will be well
and how we will move into next school year.
What Cornelius said about people first policy, second,
I'm gonna remember that.
It is about our community.
First, we're gonna slow down and connect with each other
and appreciate that we are incredibly strong
and incredibly impacted by what we all just endured.
This is not a race.
It's a pandemic.
There's no winning.
And no one is behind and no one is catching up.
We're just meeting people where they're at
and we're moving forward from that place.
Wherever you're at right now in this moment
is just where you're at.
Meet yourself there and move forward
at whatever pace you need.
So, I want to
thank all of you for the incredible, incredible work
that you all did.
I have the privilege to bear witness to all of your efforts.
Many of your efforts, working with all the schools
that I do, and it is an unbelievable inspiration
to see how hard everyone worked.
I wish all of you, whatever your version
of joyful rejuvenation is this summer.
And I appreciate having been able to have a moment
with you now.
Thanks so much.
- [Woman] Thank you so much, Joelle.
I forgot until you started that you made me cry
when you were just telling us what this keynote
was gonna be about.
So, I'm sure others are in my vote.
Many, many thank you's in the chat for you.
And I mentioned the chat.
I encouraged you well to go over time.
So, we are gonna start strands at 9:05
to give you enough of a time of a break.
Tracy's weepy too, not just me.
And we hope you've had a great week.
We hope you close out your strand well today
and your team time that you're feeling accomplished,
but also positive and rejuvenated.
So, thank you so much for your attendance at the institute,
and we hope to see you next year at Killington's.